It's a crunchy mom kind of day. I am feeling exhausted from a night without good sleep and have decided to take a day "off". Last night I was up every hour or so after having nightmares... extremely vivid and scary nightmares. I took melatonin(completely natural sleep aid that I take every so often) and can't believe that I reacted to it this way. Take caution when reading, I need to vent...
Maybe because of how I got pregnant, maybe because I was a single mom for the first few years(I moved in with my parents to give the hubby time to get his crap together), maybe because I have the special bond with my boys that my mom had with me, maybe because of these things I have become very, very close and protective over my family. I believe in Christ and look to His words often that talk about how we should protect our children. In today's world it can be a bad thing. I am one of the only friends I know anymore that practice attachment parenting. It can be hard and sometimes I want to throw in the towel. But when I see my boys making good decisions and becoming people that are too good to ever have come out of me, I know I am doing the right thing.
The first attitude that we have adopted is acceptance. If anything my family is doing causes us to feel elite, we're doing the wrong thing. Here and there since becoming a mom, shots get taken due to another mom's insecurity, due to misunderstandings, due to simply being a busybody, due to just being in a fallen world. Sometimes it can be harsh. We teach or kids to ignore what the world is doing. We teach that you are not always going to get rewarded for good behavior, that's not how our home works and that's not how life works. What they will get is to not go to their beds for the day, and one day to not get fired. Good reward is it's own behavior because they can be proud of the decent ethic they've developed. Sometimes I wonder if the world is creating punks that feel entitled to something because they haven't committed any crimes, when years ago it was just expected. Kids today won't behave if there's no tangible reward.
Another frustration that I'm dealing with big time right now has to do with homeschooling. One of the big, very practical reasons for hs'ing is so that the boys are not around certain behaviors all day long. Some might call it controlling, but I'm not concerned with the wisdom of man. I'm aware and protective of those they get close to. I tried heroin for the first time and lost my virginity before I hit puberty because of the friends I had. You had better believe that I am going to have a say in who they spend time with and who they behave like. Anyone who thinks that's controlling, probably got to have a normal childhood.
I am not going to abandon what the Lord is doing in our family just because He has another family on a different plan. I have seen the Lord do things that I don't understand. I actually tried talking Chris into quitting his job a year ago so that we could trust the Lord to take care of us financially(through our family and church). He didn't,that was not our plan to follow. I see that we are asked different things by our Lord. Sometimes what we are asked has some to do with what we've been through. Sometimes it's just what will help us grow the most. I can't expect another mom to understand that I'm not dropping my kid off to hang out with bad kids all day. But I am not going to try to follow someone else's plan either. Especially someone that I don't think is that great of a parent.
Chris and I are in organic church. When I want to see how things have been done before, I don't ask a pastor(anymore), but look to the early church. Christ gives us our past to answer our questions. The early workers give us charges as guidelines. They give us the practical of what's right and what's wrong. I take them seriously and don't throw them out the window just because I'm free. I believe in giving each other room to carry out Christ's desires for each of us, even if we don't understand them. Everyone that the Lord created(which is EVERYONE) deserves the right to have their life and family under Him. It gets sticky when we only allow certain plans room to breathe and demand that others get squashed.
I take pride in being careful with my words, try not to gossip, try not to practice intolerance(especially when most christians are blatant hypocrites when it comes to abortion and being gay), and let bad drivers sometimes cut me off when I'm driving. But I will not abandon the plan that was laid out before our family. There is room for Christ, and His plan in my life, they coexist. Anyone that can't handle that, should take a good look at their own plan and not throw stones at glass houses.
I know a guy that would love to be a part of an organic church. He is invested in the lives of organic church individuals all over the country. I wonder if anyone would dare say to his face that he isn't not following God's plan because he can't move? He is living in a place where no organic church exists, but his job is there. The Lord doesn't have us all doing the same thing. But those who develop a top dog mentality all of the sudden become okay with judging others. They encourage others to do what they themselves won't do. That's where this blog came from.
Christ came to love. He gives us each what we need in order to know Him better, in order that He is expressed, and so that we can experience with Him a love that's existed before time began. All else is secondary and filler so we can just relax. There's nothing so big or important that we need to worry about anything else other than what's on our own plate. The minute we take our eyes off of what's been entrusted to us, is the minute we become off course. We don't need to worry about why someone else needs something, or does something. If Christ has a part in any of it, we can trust it.
Thanks for letting me vent and thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
freedom to be free
In one of the online communities I frequent, the question "why do you homeschool, in 5 lines or less?" was asked. I read through all the comments on the thread so far. I noticed a common theme... more or less every one's answer had to do with freedom.
No one likes to feel confined. It's stangling and I get out of breathe just thinking about it. When we first began this journey it was more about control than freedom. There was a bus stop outside my home and every morning I would watch little ones, with back backs bigger than their torsos, struggle to walk to the stop. They would stop every few feet and adjust the large bag so that they could walk a few more feet. It broke my heart. Thing 1's first day of school was fast approaching and I was getting nervous. At the time I still kept in contact with the moms in my natural birth circle. We all had intervention free, natural births. Since then we had kept in touch and encouraged each other in attachment parenting methods... breastfeeding, sharing a family bed, not crying it out, using slings rather than strollers. Anytime I talked to someone outside my group about these things I felt judged or misunderstood. Attachment parenting is uncommon and I have yet to meet others who practice it. Well, in this group the newest issue that we were beginning to talk about was school. Most of our babies were getting ready to begin pre-kindergarten. There was a lot of talk about homeschooling. In particular I remember the curriculum company A Beka coming up a few times. I went on the website one evening after a panic attack about the approaching "school year." Right away I knew that I could do this. And not only could I do it, but I was supposed to do it!
We are officially half way through our 4th year of homeschooling. I am learning that this journey isn't so that I can control my child's life, but so that I can have the freedom to let go. Being at home I can give the three little Things more freedom to do what they are interested in. We spend most of our time together so I don't need to guard our evening family time, the way I would if they were gone all day.
I believe that the Lord created the earth. I believe that science is looked at through the lens of Christ. I feel freedom and can relax in knowing that my child isn't being taught the opposite, like I was when I was in school. I like the freedom of slowing down if my kid needs more time or moving through quickly if it's something we are already familiar with.
I love the freedom of being able to do things and go places. We can finish our workbooks, experiments, and notebooking while on the road if we travel. We can take time off in order to do things like camp and go to Nickelodeon studios(like we are this week!) We don't have to take a 2 month long summer break and lose everything we introduced before the break. We take breaks when we need them and we don't take breaks when we don't.
I like the freedom of a tailor made curriculum. We don't need to learn about world history until they are ready. If they are fascinated by something we can go deep into the topic, if they are not, we can just learn the basics.
I like that my kids have the freedom to talk to and play with their friends and to avoid bullies. If they meet someone who's mean, they don't have to see that person 5 days a week. If they meet friends they love, they aren't forced to sit at a desk nearby and not talk to that person. A fellow mom shared with me that she was called "in" to the school because her son was in trouble for talking to his friend when they were supposed to be quiet. I know it's standard, but to me it reeks of disrespect. And because we are paying our taxes, but not taking anything from the school district, I have the freedom to say how I feel.
The list of freedom goes on and on, but I want to end with this...
We have the freedom to openly(openly is the key word here) include, talk about, talk to, and acknowledge the Lord all day long! I don't know how many times we have stopped to seek the Lord after I lose my temper or we are having a rough day. I want my kids to have that freedom. I want them to see me turn to the Lord through out my stressful days, and watch me thank the Lord on my calm days.
A side note that fits in here...
For a long time I felt like I needed to hide how glorious homeschooling is. I makes other un-comfy. I know this because of the responses I've gotten when I've complimented both homeschoolers and parents of school kids. I have a homeschool friend. I once complimented something I liked about her kids. She was very careful to deflect praise and say it had nthng to do with homeshooling. Most moms have no trouble fawning all over their kids. We are proud of them. But for homeschoolers, it's like we can't feel pride in what's being accomplished because it might make someone else feel bad. The thing is, I don't ever feel bad when a public schooled kid's mom is gushing over her kids. If we truly believe that public school/private school/homeschool is what's best for our kids, it shouldn't matter who's being complimented.
Happy homeschooling! Happy regular public schooling! Have a great day!
Love,
Jackie
No one likes to feel confined. It's stangling and I get out of breathe just thinking about it. When we first began this journey it was more about control than freedom. There was a bus stop outside my home and every morning I would watch little ones, with back backs bigger than their torsos, struggle to walk to the stop. They would stop every few feet and adjust the large bag so that they could walk a few more feet. It broke my heart. Thing 1's first day of school was fast approaching and I was getting nervous. At the time I still kept in contact with the moms in my natural birth circle. We all had intervention free, natural births. Since then we had kept in touch and encouraged each other in attachment parenting methods... breastfeeding, sharing a family bed, not crying it out, using slings rather than strollers. Anytime I talked to someone outside my group about these things I felt judged or misunderstood. Attachment parenting is uncommon and I have yet to meet others who practice it. Well, in this group the newest issue that we were beginning to talk about was school. Most of our babies were getting ready to begin pre-kindergarten. There was a lot of talk about homeschooling. In particular I remember the curriculum company A Beka coming up a few times. I went on the website one evening after a panic attack about the approaching "school year." Right away I knew that I could do this. And not only could I do it, but I was supposed to do it!
We are officially half way through our 4th year of homeschooling. I am learning that this journey isn't so that I can control my child's life, but so that I can have the freedom to let go. Being at home I can give the three little Things more freedom to do what they are interested in. We spend most of our time together so I don't need to guard our evening family time, the way I would if they were gone all day.
I believe that the Lord created the earth. I believe that science is looked at through the lens of Christ. I feel freedom and can relax in knowing that my child isn't being taught the opposite, like I was when I was in school. I like the freedom of slowing down if my kid needs more time or moving through quickly if it's something we are already familiar with.
I love the freedom of being able to do things and go places. We can finish our workbooks, experiments, and notebooking while on the road if we travel. We can take time off in order to do things like camp and go to Nickelodeon studios(like we are this week!) We don't have to take a 2 month long summer break and lose everything we introduced before the break. We take breaks when we need them and we don't take breaks when we don't.
I like the freedom of a tailor made curriculum. We don't need to learn about world history until they are ready. If they are fascinated by something we can go deep into the topic, if they are not, we can just learn the basics.
I like that my kids have the freedom to talk to and play with their friends and to avoid bullies. If they meet someone who's mean, they don't have to see that person 5 days a week. If they meet friends they love, they aren't forced to sit at a desk nearby and not talk to that person. A fellow mom shared with me that she was called "in" to the school because her son was in trouble for talking to his friend when they were supposed to be quiet. I know it's standard, but to me it reeks of disrespect. And because we are paying our taxes, but not taking anything from the school district, I have the freedom to say how I feel.
The list of freedom goes on and on, but I want to end with this...
We have the freedom to openly(openly is the key word here) include, talk about, talk to, and acknowledge the Lord all day long! I don't know how many times we have stopped to seek the Lord after I lose my temper or we are having a rough day. I want my kids to have that freedom. I want them to see me turn to the Lord through out my stressful days, and watch me thank the Lord on my calm days.
A side note that fits in here...
For a long time I felt like I needed to hide how glorious homeschooling is. I makes other un-comfy. I know this because of the responses I've gotten when I've complimented both homeschoolers and parents of school kids. I have a homeschool friend. I once complimented something I liked about her kids. She was very careful to deflect praise and say it had nthng to do with homeshooling. Most moms have no trouble fawning all over their kids. We are proud of them. But for homeschoolers, it's like we can't feel pride in what's being accomplished because it might make someone else feel bad. The thing is, I don't ever feel bad when a public schooled kid's mom is gushing over her kids. If we truly believe that public school/private school/homeschool is what's best for our kids, it shouldn't matter who's being complimented.
Happy homeschooling! Happy regular public schooling! Have a great day!
Love,
Jackie
Monday, December 5, 2011
Christmas is almost here and the act of giving has been on my mind. I want to share with you an inspiration that changed not only gift giving, but my life. Less is more and go green. It's a precious concept.
Chris and I made the decision 5 years ago to go green. It was difficult. Biodegradable products were not available the way they are today. We learned what we could about our ecological footprint, signed contracts with Mrs Meyers and Seventh Generation promising to live a certain lifestyle no matter how inconvenient it is. For example, we wash all clothes in cold water and hang them dry. See, a real pain in the tush.
Anyway, here's what I want to share... This year see how minimal you can be with wrapping and packaging. Give baskets put together by you. I have been doing that for years. It's usually less expensive and can change someone's life. My parents switched to organic sugar in their home because we gave them some in a coffee themed basket last year. They never would have tried it otherwise. Another more notable example is in my church. Chris and I buy green products in bulk. In the last year we have given most families that have moved here welcome baskets containing organic biodegradable products in addition to using them ourselves. I see that not only do they continue to use them, but they spread the word and other families use them too.
Going green is a lifestyle. When we went green it didn't stop at Christmas time, but it's a great time to implement green-ness. Some practical examples are to use newspaper as wrapping, give baskets of pretty wash clothes for the recipient to use as napkins on a table. Make and give organic spice mixes in glass mason jars. Put a personal touch on it with pretty fabric or string.
This is a very special topic close to my heart that I am excited to write about. Those closest to me joke about my earth friendly thriftiness. I am by no means putting judgement on those who don't do these things. No one is 100 percent green all the time. I will post here and there with more ideas and examples of what we've done and seen. Merry Christmas and happy gift giving friends!
Love,
Jackie
Chris and I made the decision 5 years ago to go green. It was difficult. Biodegradable products were not available the way they are today. We learned what we could about our ecological footprint, signed contracts with Mrs Meyers and Seventh Generation promising to live a certain lifestyle no matter how inconvenient it is. For example, we wash all clothes in cold water and hang them dry. See, a real pain in the tush.
Anyway, here's what I want to share... This year see how minimal you can be with wrapping and packaging. Give baskets put together by you. I have been doing that for years. It's usually less expensive and can change someone's life. My parents switched to organic sugar in their home because we gave them some in a coffee themed basket last year. They never would have tried it otherwise. Another more notable example is in my church. Chris and I buy green products in bulk. In the last year we have given most families that have moved here welcome baskets containing organic biodegradable products in addition to using them ourselves. I see that not only do they continue to use them, but they spread the word and other families use them too.
Going green is a lifestyle. When we went green it didn't stop at Christmas time, but it's a great time to implement green-ness. Some practical examples are to use newspaper as wrapping, give baskets of pretty wash clothes for the recipient to use as napkins on a table. Make and give organic spice mixes in glass mason jars. Put a personal touch on it with pretty fabric or string.
This is a very special topic close to my heart that I am excited to write about. Those closest to me joke about my earth friendly thriftiness. I am by no means putting judgement on those who don't do these things. No one is 100 percent green all the time. I will post here and there with more ideas and examples of what we've done and seen. Merry Christmas and happy gift giving friends!
Love,
Jackie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)