It's been a while since I've written about anything other than homeschooling in this blog. I thought I'd write about the gym today.
My husband got me a gym membership almost 2 months ago. The gym has a great childcare facility and that was the main selling point for us. If we were going to continue living in a town 2 hours away(with traffic at rush hour) from hubby's work, I need some sort of help. But we could not afford a nanny, not even for one day a week. I had also been struggling to lose the weight I gained after my hysterectomy 2 years ago. For months we had talked about getting me a gym membership, but the one closest to us had no childcare. I would never be able to go.
A Saint in our community started working in a gym a while back. My husband went in to do a trial membership and he was sold that this would be a great solution for us. I go almost every day. There have only been 4 or 5 days that I have not gone. The benefits of exercise have been incredible. I had forgotten how good it feels after a strenuous workout. I have a treadmill at home, but it was boring and I had to stop often to punish the kids.
Most days we finish school by 1, we eat lunch and then head to the gym. Some days we go earlier. I value and protect that time. When we first talked about getting this membership I felt guilty. Taking that time and money away from my family had me nervous. I already felt like there weren't enough hours in the day, how was I going to fit in time to workout too? Also, I usually get so disgustingly sweaty, that I need to shower while there too. Where was I going to get all this time? Fortunately, my husband's wisdom far surpassed mine. He saw all the benefits that I couldn't at the time. All I saw was the burden I would be laying on us financially.
For the first time in years I am losing weight and gaining muscle. My husband is complimenting the changes he sees which makes me feel like a teen with a crush.:) I used to drink a venti(that means 20oz, which is a LARGE) Starbucks several times a week. Working out as hard as I do, in addition to knowing the sacrifice Chris made for me to go to the gym, it helped to break my Starbucks addiction. I am more conscious of every calorie and sweet thing that goes in my mouth. The money we have spent on a membership, we have saved by not buying junk.
Probably the greatest benefit is my sanity. I wrote in the beginning that I guard my time at the gym closely. I went from being stressed out all the time to feeling calm and grateful. There have been moments where I have felt anxious, depressed, or been angry at someone and I go to the gym, get that time alone, and can usually sort it out before I leave. There is a mental clarity that happens when my physical self in being worked out. I have sought the Lord in my time alone and have found Him there.
A long time ago I had an eating disorder. It was a serious problem at one point. I have ravaged my body in my addiction to losing weight. It ended when I was forced into a hospital up in NY after my esophagus tore and I was vomiting blood. Since then I have had to be very careful when exercising or fasting. Those things can be hurtful to me if I am doing them in my own strength. When I joined this gym it was very tempting at first to go twice a day(it's open 24 hours)... once during the day with the kids and once at night after they go to bed. It was also tempting to step on the scale(something I really can't do) and begin the obsession. But those things didn't happen. I didn't "try really hard" to make them not happen. I feel like this time and rest is a gift from the Lord. I am lucky to have a family that understands I need a break. I am lucky to have a family that wants me to have a break. I am grateful for this change that has made all the difference. I don't feel like I want to move back to Jax all the time so I can have the rest. Now that I am getting a break I am free to enjoy my time in Gainesville. Christ brought me rest in the form Gainesville Health and Fitness.
There are going to be those who don't understand. I wouldn't have a year and a half ago. I was good at being a mom before. Then we moved and Chris is gone all the time. I have been feeling overworked and lonely. I have doubted Christ or that He was even in me. I can say with all honesty that He has shown Himself to be my rest through my struggles and relief. If you are a mom, and you are having a hard time at the moment... hang tight. Christ will be your life vest too.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Jackie
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
the Holy Spirit and a tailor made life
Last night I came home from a church meeting overwhelmed by the living Spirit of God within me. I began to write and write. Through writing I discovered that the Lord leads us to what is good for us. His will is never forceful and His judgement is held back from His children. We don't know exactly who his children are, but I He created all of us to be His. It used to be that those who said the "sinner's prayer" were saved. Saved from a fiery damnation to hell. Now I know better. We don't know what's in a person's heart. We can profess Christ all day long... the demons even knew who Christ was. But, we never know what's in another's heart just by what they say. We don't know who we'll see in heaven.
I have taken a hiatus from books(except the bible, I read that often, but not out of religious obligation... I read it when He draws me to it). The Lord has got me. He is the One that brings about change within. If I try to encourage a change within myself, it is very short lived. For that reason, reading christian books, even organic church books, is frustrating for me. I want to read these books and then encourage the change I read about to happen. I am unsatisfied with Christ in my life until I can be what the book wants me to be.
Chris and I enjoy a natural and organic way of living. We make all our own cleaning detergents, soaps, and sprays. We eat all organic fruits, vegetables, and meats. We homeschool and home church. Except for (organic)coffee, I have been rid of bad daily habits. For a year and a half we have seen the benefits of living this way and it has been a pitfall in my spirit. I have felt that I was better than those who did life differently. I thought that I was special because I was "let in" on the secret to a healthier lifestyle. I was boasting within.
When filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, I can see the wretchedness in myself. I can see that it was Christ who drew me gently and slowly into a lifestyle very different from the one I had created for myself. Christ revealed Himself and His design for my family. He was humble about it. He sent those didn't judge, but who were patient and accepting while sharing information.
In addition to friends, family, and His Spirit in me, I have found practical instruction in the bible. This is not the same as when I pulled verses out here and there and made them fit what I was doing. The Holy Spirit is directing my heart when I read these verses. Because I am secure in the Lord directing my time with Him, I know that He directs others do different conclusions.
For example... Eph. 6:4. The Lord has placed on my heart the responsibility of homeschooling my children to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Because when I read this I joyfully accept what He's placed on my heart. It's confirmed through in other ways. For three and a half years so far I have taken this to mean that all parents who want to raise their children in this way need to homeschool. I have read into it my own fears... mainly that if I sent my kids to school, the time in that environment would undo all the good Christ is doing in their hearts. And this is true for MY kids. Fortunately, this verse can simply be a parenting verse for many families. Christ puts in our hearts what we need to know to carry out His life within us.
A few years ago I thought that there was a recipe for becoming a christian. I had verses to back it up. But, as Christ came and dwelled in my heart, He became alive and nothing else I do can compare or even matter. I could never read the bible again, I could never go to a time of teaching again, I could never another devotion(it's typically an hour where christians read the bible and pray)... I could never do those things again an not only prosper in Christ, but be better for it. The indwelling life of Christ is no match for the outwardly things we do. In the past this is how I would know other christians. Add to the list of outwardly things: speaking "christian-ese"(the art of speaking the popular christian lingo). These things are how I would know christians.
Today I know it by the life of Christ. The Lord loves all people. Most people I know love Him back. And it's got nothing to do with a steeple or a newcomers class or a five fold ministry.
Thanks for reading me!
Love,
Jackie
I have taken a hiatus from books(except the bible, I read that often, but not out of religious obligation... I read it when He draws me to it). The Lord has got me. He is the One that brings about change within. If I try to encourage a change within myself, it is very short lived. For that reason, reading christian books, even organic church books, is frustrating for me. I want to read these books and then encourage the change I read about to happen. I am unsatisfied with Christ in my life until I can be what the book wants me to be.
Chris and I enjoy a natural and organic way of living. We make all our own cleaning detergents, soaps, and sprays. We eat all organic fruits, vegetables, and meats. We homeschool and home church. Except for (organic)coffee, I have been rid of bad daily habits. For a year and a half we have seen the benefits of living this way and it has been a pitfall in my spirit. I have felt that I was better than those who did life differently. I thought that I was special because I was "let in" on the secret to a healthier lifestyle. I was boasting within.
When filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, I can see the wretchedness in myself. I can see that it was Christ who drew me gently and slowly into a lifestyle very different from the one I had created for myself. Christ revealed Himself and His design for my family. He was humble about it. He sent those didn't judge, but who were patient and accepting while sharing information.
In addition to friends, family, and His Spirit in me, I have found practical instruction in the bible. This is not the same as when I pulled verses out here and there and made them fit what I was doing. The Holy Spirit is directing my heart when I read these verses. Because I am secure in the Lord directing my time with Him, I know that He directs others do different conclusions.
For example... Eph. 6:4. The Lord has placed on my heart the responsibility of homeschooling my children to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Because when I read this I joyfully accept what He's placed on my heart. It's confirmed through in other ways. For three and a half years so far I have taken this to mean that all parents who want to raise their children in this way need to homeschool. I have read into it my own fears... mainly that if I sent my kids to school, the time in that environment would undo all the good Christ is doing in their hearts. And this is true for MY kids. Fortunately, this verse can simply be a parenting verse for many families. Christ puts in our hearts what we need to know to carry out His life within us.
A few years ago I thought that there was a recipe for becoming a christian. I had verses to back it up. But, as Christ came and dwelled in my heart, He became alive and nothing else I do can compare or even matter. I could never read the bible again, I could never go to a time of teaching again, I could never another devotion(it's typically an hour where christians read the bible and pray)... I could never do those things again an not only prosper in Christ, but be better for it. The indwelling life of Christ is no match for the outwardly things we do. In the past this is how I would know other christians. Add to the list of outwardly things: speaking "christian-ese"(the art of speaking the popular christian lingo). These things are how I would know christians.
Today I know it by the life of Christ. The Lord loves all people. Most people I know love Him back. And it's got nothing to do with a steeple or a newcomers class or a five fold ministry.
Thanks for reading me!
Love,
Jackie
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
a way within the way
Today I want to write about homeschooling because it makes me happy. We change all the time. I am constantly finding better was to do things, better books to use, better websites and magazines to read. Sometimes it comes from my homeschooling friends, they share about what works for them. Sometimes I just stumble upon a new "thing" as I browse catalogs and blogs. In the beginning I couldn't wait until I was a few years out in our hs journey and I would have everything nailed down. In the future I saw well planned days, me and the kids flawlessly gliding through each day filled with all kinds of curriculum and learning. Here we are four years out and I have realized something important. Because of how my brain works, I will never be satisfied to use the same workbook with each kid every other year. I have discovered what works for us and it's not a curriculum, it's a philosophy. It's the Charlotte Mason method. This woman was a teacher that believed in treating children as individuals, among other things. Before she died, she wrote a series of books on her philosophy, her reasons, her experiments, and everything she discovered about children. (It's called Charlotte Mason's Original Homeschooing Series if you are interested in reading it)
I have read this collection of books as well as most other published books on this philosophy. If there was a Charlotte Mason class, you had better believe I would have paid to go to that too!
Since learning about what I wanted for our family I have tried to piece together the perfect curriculum that Miss Mason would have approved of. And it doesn't exist. What's great for one child is too intense or too boring for another. There is one way for my family to hs, but within that way, there are multiple choices.
I am one of those people that can't follow a strict schedule or guide. If I write our week out ahead of time, I know we are sure to deviate and follow rabbit trails at some point. I write it out anyway because it's important to have a guide, but we leave lots of room for life to happen. I was with a friend last night and I was letting her know that I could help with certain thing she needed help with. She asked me "what about your schooling?" It was easy for me to say with confidence that I have found the kids are happier, and therefore learn more, when we leave room for life. We school in a very natural way and blend learning into our day(most days) that we are always ahead. That tends to be common with homeschoolers.
CM is big on schedules so I have what works for us, I have what I call a general 4-part schedule. I divide the day into 4 periods of time between breakfast and dinner. Each part has a general time frame, but I am not strict about it. We also take one day off each week. Most weeks it's Wednesday, but if it needs to be another day we switch it. Also, we are only as relaxed as we are because first we created good habits. And as the kids go through growth spurts there are constantly new habits and character traits that need to be "taught" for lack of a better word.
Again, it fits very nicely into the CM method of learning. If we are on a roll and want to plow through several months of school in only one month, that fits. If we take time off to be a part of life, that fits too.
While I am well versed in the Charlotte Mason ways of schooling, I am no further along in finding that "one way" for our family to do things. One book is great for Thing 1, but Thing 2 doesn't get the appeal. We do spiral workbooks for Thing 2 and Thing 1 prefers the mastery approach to math. The cool thing is, it all fits. And that's the beauty of it all. I can use one way, a narrow way in today's world, and have room to move around within that way. Because I have an understanding of the philosophy I am free to move around within in.
So, here I am four years into the journey. My kids have no idea what a public school day is like. They have been with me from birth. And I haven't screwed them up. I also haven't found the one magic curriculum that works for us. One year it's Heart of Dakota and the next I am a Sonlight girl. We have also done KONOS successfully and plan on using My Father's World for 4th/2nd/K grades. We will do it as a family. Thing 1 has soared with one Language arts book and Thing 2 is having success with another. And my hope is that Thing 3 will require a completely different book than the first 2 all together (because I hate going through the same curriculum twice.)
I like that we know where we are going. And I like that I have the freedom to pick and choose what we do within the style of learning. Most of life is kind of like that.
Thanks for reading... I needed to write today and I wanted it to be light. If you are not a homeschooler than this was probably so boring to you that you did not even finish. Feel free to comment and let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas, especially if you are a CM family too.
Love,
Jakie
I have read this collection of books as well as most other published books on this philosophy. If there was a Charlotte Mason class, you had better believe I would have paid to go to that too!
Since learning about what I wanted for our family I have tried to piece together the perfect curriculum that Miss Mason would have approved of. And it doesn't exist. What's great for one child is too intense or too boring for another. There is one way for my family to hs, but within that way, there are multiple choices.
I am one of those people that can't follow a strict schedule or guide. If I write our week out ahead of time, I know we are sure to deviate and follow rabbit trails at some point. I write it out anyway because it's important to have a guide, but we leave lots of room for life to happen. I was with a friend last night and I was letting her know that I could help with certain thing she needed help with. She asked me "what about your schooling?" It was easy for me to say with confidence that I have found the kids are happier, and therefore learn more, when we leave room for life. We school in a very natural way and blend learning into our day(most days) that we are always ahead. That tends to be common with homeschoolers.
CM is big on schedules so I have what works for us, I have what I call a general 4-part schedule. I divide the day into 4 periods of time between breakfast and dinner. Each part has a general time frame, but I am not strict about it. We also take one day off each week. Most weeks it's Wednesday, but if it needs to be another day we switch it. Also, we are only as relaxed as we are because first we created good habits. And as the kids go through growth spurts there are constantly new habits and character traits that need to be "taught" for lack of a better word.
Again, it fits very nicely into the CM method of learning. If we are on a roll and want to plow through several months of school in only one month, that fits. If we take time off to be a part of life, that fits too.
While I am well versed in the Charlotte Mason ways of schooling, I am no further along in finding that "one way" for our family to do things. One book is great for Thing 1, but Thing 2 doesn't get the appeal. We do spiral workbooks for Thing 2 and Thing 1 prefers the mastery approach to math. The cool thing is, it all fits. And that's the beauty of it all. I can use one way, a narrow way in today's world, and have room to move around within that way. Because I have an understanding of the philosophy I am free to move around within in.
So, here I am four years into the journey. My kids have no idea what a public school day is like. They have been with me from birth. And I haven't screwed them up. I also haven't found the one magic curriculum that works for us. One year it's Heart of Dakota and the next I am a Sonlight girl. We have also done KONOS successfully and plan on using My Father's World for 4th/2nd/K grades. We will do it as a family. Thing 1 has soared with one Language arts book and Thing 2 is having success with another. And my hope is that Thing 3 will require a completely different book than the first 2 all together (because I hate going through the same curriculum twice.)
I like that we know where we are going. And I like that I have the freedom to pick and choose what we do within the style of learning. Most of life is kind of like that.
Thanks for reading... I needed to write today and I wanted it to be light. If you are not a homeschooler than this was probably so boring to you that you did not even finish. Feel free to comment and let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas, especially if you are a CM family too.
Love,
Jakie
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