removing specks

It's a crunchy mom kind of day. I am feeling exhausted from a night without good sleep and have decided to take a day "off". Last night I was up every hour or so after having nightmares... extremely vivid and scary nightmares. I took melatonin(completely natural sleep aid that I take every so often) and can't believe that I reacted to it this way. Take caution when reading, I need to vent...
Maybe because of how I got pregnant, maybe because I was a single mom for the first few years(I moved in with my parents to give the hubby time to get his crap together), maybe because I have the special bond with my boys that my mom had with me, maybe because of these things I have become very, very close and protective over my family. I believe in Christ and look to His words often that talk about how we should protect our children. In today's world it can be a bad thing. I am one of the only friends I know anymore that practice attachment parenting. It can be hard and sometimes I want to throw in the towel. But when I see my boys making good decisions and becoming people that are too good to ever have come out of me, I know I am doing the right thing.
The first attitude that we have adopted is acceptance. If anything my family is doing causes us to feel elite, we're doing the wrong thing. Here and there since becoming a mom, shots get taken due to another mom's insecurity, due to misunderstandings, due to simply being a busybody, due to just being in a fallen world. Sometimes it can be harsh. We teach or kids to ignore what the world is doing. We teach that you are not always going to get rewarded for good behavior, that's not how our home works and that's not how life works. What they will get is to not go to their beds for the day, and one day to not get fired. Good reward is it's own behavior because they can be proud of the decent ethic they've developed. Sometimes I wonder if the world is creating punks that feel entitled to something because they haven't committed any crimes, when years ago it was just expected. Kids today won't behave if there's no tangible reward.
Another frustration that I'm dealing with big time right now has to do with homeschooling. One of the big, very practical reasons for hs'ing is so that the boys are not around certain behaviors all day long. Some might call it controlling, but I'm not concerned with the wisdom of man. I'm aware and protective of those they get close to. I tried heroin for the first time and lost my virginity before I hit puberty because of the friends I had. You had better believe that I am going to have a say in who they spend time with and who they behave like. Anyone who thinks that's controlling, probably got to have a normal childhood.
I am not going to abandon what the Lord is doing in our family just because He has another family on a different plan. I have seen the Lord do things that I don't understand. I actually tried talking Chris into quitting his job a year ago so that we could trust the Lord to take care of us financially(through our family and church). He didn't,that was not our plan to follow. I see that we are asked different things by our Lord. Sometimes what we are asked has some to do with what we've been through. Sometimes it's just what will help us grow the most. I can't expect another mom to understand that I'm not dropping my kid off to hang out with bad kids all day. But I am not going to try to follow someone else's plan either. Especially someone that I don't think is that great of a parent.
Chris and I are in organic church. When I want to see how things have been done before, I don't ask a pastor(anymore), but look to the early church. Christ gives us our past to answer our questions. The early workers give us charges as guidelines. They give us the practical of what's right and what's wrong. I take them seriously and don't throw them out the window just because I'm free. I believe in giving each other room to carry out Christ's desires for each of us, even if we don't understand them. Everyone that the Lord created(which is EVERYONE) deserves the right to have their life and family under Him. It gets sticky when we only allow certain plans room to breathe and demand that others get squashed.
I take pride in being careful with my words, try not to gossip, try not to practice intolerance(especially when most christians are blatant hypocrites when it comes to abortion and being gay), and let bad drivers sometimes cut me off when I'm driving. But I will not abandon the plan that was laid out before our family. There is room for Christ, and His plan in my life, they coexist. Anyone that can't handle that, should take a good look at their own plan and not throw stones at glass houses.
I know a guy that would love to be a part of an organic church. He is invested in the lives of organic church individuals all over the country. I wonder if anyone would dare say to his face that he isn't not following God's plan because he can't move? He is living in a place where no organic church exists, but his job is there. The Lord doesn't have us all doing the same thing. But those who develop a top dog mentality all of the sudden become okay with judging others. They encourage others to do what they themselves won't do. That's where this blog came from.
Christ came to love. He gives us each what we need in order to know Him better, in order that He is expressed, and so that we can experience with Him a love that's existed before time began. All else is secondary and filler so we can just relax. There's nothing so big or important that we need to worry about anything else other than what's on our own plate. The minute we take our eyes off of what's been entrusted to us, is the minute we become off course. We don't need to worry about why someone else needs something, or does something. If Christ has a part in any of it, we can trust it.
Thanks for letting me vent and thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

freedom to be free

In one of the online communities I frequent, the question "why do you homeschool, in 5 lines or less?" was asked. I read through all the comments on the thread so far. I noticed a common theme... more or less every one's answer had to do with freedom.
No one likes to feel confined. It's stangling and I get out of breathe just thinking about it. When we first began this journey it was more about control than freedom. There was a bus stop outside my home and every morning I would watch little ones, with back backs bigger than their torsos, struggle to walk to the stop. They would stop every few feet and adjust the large bag so that they could walk a few more feet. It broke my heart. Thing 1's first day of school was fast approaching and I was getting nervous. At the time I still kept in contact with the moms in my natural birth circle. We all had intervention free, natural births. Since then we had kept in touch and encouraged each other in attachment parenting methods... breastfeeding, sharing a family bed, not crying it out, using slings rather than strollers. Anytime I talked to someone outside my group about these things I felt judged or misunderstood. Attachment parenting is uncommon and I have yet to meet others who practice it. Well, in this group the newest issue that we were beginning to talk about was school. Most of our babies were getting ready to begin pre-kindergarten. There was a lot of talk about homeschooling. In particular I remember the curriculum company A Beka coming up a few times. I went on the website one evening after a panic attack about the approaching "school year." Right away I knew that I could do this. And not only could I do it, but I was supposed to do it!
We are officially half way through our 4th year of homeschooling. I am learning that this journey isn't so that I can control my child's life, but so that I can have the freedom to let go. Being at home I can give the three little Things more freedom to do what they are interested in. We spend most of our time together so I don't need to guard our evening family time, the way I would if they were gone all day.
I believe that the Lord created the earth. I believe that science is looked at through the lens of Christ. I feel freedom and can relax in knowing that my child isn't being taught the opposite, like I was when I was in school. I like the freedom of slowing down if my kid needs more time or moving through quickly if it's something we are already familiar with.
I love the freedom of being able to do things and go places. We can finish our workbooks, experiments, and notebooking while on the road if we travel. We can take time off in order to do things like camp and go to Nickelodeon studios(like we are this week!) We don't have to take a 2 month long summer break and lose everything we introduced before the break. We take breaks when we need them and we don't take breaks when we don't.
I like the freedom of a tailor made curriculum. We don't need to learn about world history until they are ready. If they are fascinated by something we can go deep into the topic, if they are not, we can just learn the basics.
I like that my kids have the freedom to talk to and play with their friends and to avoid bullies. If they meet someone who's mean, they don't have to see that person 5 days a week. If they meet friends they love, they aren't forced to sit at a desk nearby and not talk to that person. A fellow mom shared with me that she was called "in" to the school because her son was in trouble for talking to his friend when they were supposed to be quiet. I know it's standard, but to me it reeks of disrespect. And because we are paying our taxes, but not taking anything from the school district, I have the freedom to say how I feel.
The list of freedom goes on and on, but I want to end with this...
We have the freedom to openly(openly is the key word here) include, talk about, talk to, and acknowledge the Lord all day long! I don't know how many times we have stopped to seek the Lord after I lose my temper or we are having a rough day. I want my kids to have that freedom. I want them to see me turn to the Lord through out my stressful days, and watch me thank the Lord on my calm days.
A side note that fits in here...
For a long time I felt like I needed to hide how glorious homeschooling is. I makes other un-comfy. I know this because of the responses I've gotten when I've complimented both homeschoolers and parents of school kids. I have a homeschool friend. I once complimented something I liked about her kids. She was very careful to deflect praise and say it had nthng to do with homeshooling. Most moms have no trouble fawning all over their kids. We are proud of them. But for homeschoolers, it's like we can't feel pride in what's being accomplished because it might make someone else feel bad. The thing is, I don't ever feel bad when a public schooled kid's mom is gushing over her kids. If we truly believe that public school/private school/homeschool is what's best for our kids, it shouldn't matter who's being complimented.
Happy homeschooling! Happy regular public schooling! Have a great day!
Love,
Jackie

Christmas is almost here and the act of giving has been on my mind. I want to share with you an inspiration that changed not only gift giving, but my life. Less is more and go green. It's a precious concept.
Chris and I made the decision 5 years ago to go green. It was difficult. Biodegradable products were not available the way they are today. We learned what we could about our ecological footprint, signed contracts with Mrs Meyers and Seventh Generation promising to live a certain lifestyle no matter how inconvenient it is. For example, we wash all clothes in cold water and hang them dry. See, a real pain in the tush.
Anyway, here's what I want to share... This year see how minimal you can be with wrapping and packaging. Give baskets put together by you. I have been doing that for years. It's usually less expensive and can change someone's life. My parents switched to organic sugar in their home because we gave them some in a coffee themed basket last year. They never would have tried it otherwise. Another more notable example is in my church. Chris and I buy green products in bulk. In the last year we have given most families that have moved here welcome baskets containing organic biodegradable products in addition to using them ourselves. I see that not only do they continue to use them, but they spread the word and other families use them too.
Going green is a lifestyle. When we went green it didn't stop at Christmas time, but it's a great time to implement green-ness. Some practical examples are to use newspaper as wrapping, give baskets of pretty wash clothes for the recipient to use as napkins on a table. Make and give organic spice mixes in glass mason jars. Put a personal touch on it with pretty fabric or string.
This is a very special topic close to my heart that I am excited to write about. Those closest to me joke about my earth friendly thriftiness. I am by no means putting judgement on those who don't do these things. No one is 100 percent green all the time. I will post here and there with more ideas and examples of what we've done and seen. Merry Christmas and happy gift giving friends!
Love,
Jackie

Jesus in my gym membeship

It's been a while since I've written about anything other than homeschooling in this blog. I thought I'd write about the gym today.
My husband got me a gym membership almost 2 months ago. The gym has a great childcare facility and that was the main selling point for us. If we were going to continue living in a town 2 hours away(with traffic at rush hour) from hubby's work, I need some sort of help. But we could not afford a nanny, not even for one day a week. I had also been struggling to lose the weight I gained after my hysterectomy 2 years ago. For months we had talked about getting me a gym membership, but the one closest to us had no childcare. I would never be able to go.
A Saint in our community started working in a gym a while back. My husband went in to do a trial membership and he was sold that this would be a great solution for us. I go almost every day. There have only been 4 or 5 days that I have not gone. The benefits of exercise have been incredible. I had forgotten how good it feels after a strenuous workout. I have a treadmill at home, but it was boring and I had to stop often to punish the kids.
Most days we finish school by 1, we eat lunch and then head to the gym. Some days we go earlier. I value and protect that time. When we first talked about getting this membership I felt guilty. Taking that time and money away from my family had me nervous. I already felt like there weren't enough hours in the day, how was I going to fit in time to workout too? Also, I usually get so disgustingly sweaty, that I need to shower while there too. Where was I going to get all this time? Fortunately, my husband's wisdom far surpassed mine. He saw all the benefits that I couldn't at the time. All I saw was the burden I would be laying on us financially.
For the first time in years I am losing weight and gaining muscle. My husband is complimenting the changes he sees which makes me feel like a teen with a crush.:) I used to drink a venti(that means 20oz, which is a LARGE) Starbucks several times a week. Working out as hard as I do, in addition to knowing the sacrifice Chris made for me to go to the gym, it helped to break my Starbucks addiction. I am more conscious of every calorie and sweet thing that goes in my mouth. The money we have spent on a membership, we have saved by not buying junk.
Probably the greatest benefit is my sanity. I wrote in the beginning that I guard my time at the gym closely. I went from being stressed out all the time to feeling calm and grateful. There have been moments where I have felt anxious, depressed, or been angry at someone and I go to the gym, get that time alone, and can usually sort it out before I leave. There is a mental clarity that happens when my physical self in being worked out. I have sought the Lord in my time alone and have found Him there.
A long time ago I had an eating disorder. It was a serious problem at one point. I have ravaged my body in my addiction to losing weight. It ended when I was forced into a hospital up in NY after my esophagus tore and I was vomiting blood. Since then I have had to be very careful when exercising or fasting. Those things can be hurtful to me if I am doing them in my own strength. When I joined this gym it was very tempting at first to go twice a day(it's open 24 hours)... once during the day with the kids and once at night after they go to bed. It was also tempting to step on the scale(something I really can't do) and begin the obsession. But those things didn't happen. I didn't "try really hard" to make them not happen. I feel like this time and rest is a gift from the Lord. I am lucky to have a family that understands I need a break. I am lucky to have a family that wants me to have a break. I am grateful for this change that has made all the difference. I don't feel like I want to move back to Jax all the time so I can have the rest. Now that I am getting a break I am free to enjoy my time in Gainesville. Christ brought me rest in the form Gainesville Health and Fitness.
There are going to be those who don't understand. I wouldn't have a year and a half ago. I was good at being a mom before. Then we moved and Chris is gone all the time. I have been feeling overworked and lonely. I have doubted Christ or that He was even in me. I can say with all honesty that He has shown Himself to be my rest through my struggles and relief. If you are a mom, and you are having a hard time at the moment... hang tight. Christ will be your life vest too.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Jackie

the Holy Spirit and a tailor made life

Last night I came home from a church meeting overwhelmed by the living Spirit of God within me. I began to write and write. Through writing I discovered that the Lord leads us to what is good for us. His will is never forceful and His judgement is held back from His children. We don't know exactly who his children are, but I He created all of us to be His. It used to be that those who said the "sinner's prayer" were saved. Saved from a fiery damnation to hell. Now I know better. We don't know what's in a person's heart. We can profess Christ all day long... the demons even knew who Christ was. But, we never know what's in another's heart just by what they say. We don't know who we'll see in heaven.
I have taken a hiatus from books(except the bible, I read that often, but not out of religious obligation... I read it when He draws me to it). The Lord has got me. He is the One that brings about change within. If I try to encourage a change within myself, it is very short lived. For that reason, reading christian books, even organic church books, is frustrating for me. I want to read these books and then encourage the change I read about to happen. I am unsatisfied with Christ in my life until I can be what the book wants me to be.
Chris and I enjoy a natural and organic way of living. We make all our own cleaning detergents, soaps, and sprays. We eat all organic fruits, vegetables, and meats. We homeschool and home church. Except for (organic)coffee, I have been rid of bad daily habits. For a year and a half we have seen the benefits of living this way and it has been a pitfall in my spirit. I have felt that I was better than those who did life differently. I thought that I was special because I was "let in" on the secret to a healthier lifestyle. I was boasting within.
When filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, I can see the wretchedness in myself. I can see that it was Christ who drew me gently and slowly into a lifestyle very different from the one I had created for myself. Christ revealed Himself and His design for my family. He was humble about it. He sent those didn't judge, but who were patient and accepting while sharing information.
In addition to friends, family, and His Spirit in me, I have found practical instruction in the bible. This is not the same as when I pulled verses out here and there and made them fit what I was doing. The Holy Spirit is directing my heart when I read these verses. Because I am secure in the Lord directing my time with Him, I know that He directs others do different conclusions.
For example... Eph. 6:4. The Lord has placed on my heart the responsibility of homeschooling my children to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Because when I read this I joyfully accept what He's placed on my heart. It's confirmed through in other ways. For three and a half years so far I have taken this to mean that all parents who want to raise their children in this way need to homeschool. I have read into it my own fears... mainly that if I sent my kids to school, the time in that environment would undo all the good Christ is doing in their hearts. And this is true for MY kids. Fortunately, this verse can simply be a parenting verse for many families. Christ puts in our hearts what we need to know to carry out His life within us.
A few years ago I thought that there was a recipe for becoming a christian. I had verses to back it up. But, as Christ came and dwelled in my heart, He became alive and nothing else I do can compare or even matter. I could never read the bible again, I could never go to a time of teaching again, I could never another devotion(it's typically an hour where christians read the bible and pray)... I could never do those things again an not only prosper in Christ, but be better for it. The indwelling life of Christ is no match for the outwardly things we do. In the past this is how I would know other christians. Add to the list of outwardly things: speaking "christian-ese"(the art of speaking the popular christian lingo). These things are how I would know christians.
Today I know it by the life of Christ. The Lord loves all people. Most people I know love Him back. And it's got nothing to do with a steeple or a newcomers class or a five fold ministry.
Thanks for reading me!
Love,
Jackie

a way within the way

Today I want to write about homeschooling because it makes me happy. We change all the time. I am constantly finding better was to do things, better books to use, better websites and magazines to read. Sometimes it comes from my homeschooling friends, they share about what works for them. Sometimes I just stumble upon a new "thing" as I browse catalogs and blogs. In the beginning I couldn't wait until I was a few years out in our hs journey and I would have everything nailed down. In the future I saw well planned days, me and the kids flawlessly gliding through each day filled with all kinds of curriculum and learning. Here we are four years out and I have realized something important. Because of how my brain works, I will never be satisfied to use the same workbook with each kid every other year. I have discovered what works for us and it's not a curriculum, it's a philosophy. It's the Charlotte Mason method. This woman was a teacher that believed in treating children as individuals, among other things. Before she died, she wrote a series of books on her philosophy, her reasons, her experiments, and everything she discovered about children. (It's called Charlotte Mason's Original Homeschooing Series if you are interested in reading it)
I have read this collection of books as well as most other published books on this philosophy. If there was a Charlotte Mason class, you had better believe I would have paid to go to that too!
Since learning about what I wanted for our family I have tried to piece together the perfect curriculum that Miss Mason would have approved of. And it doesn't exist. What's great for one child is too intense or too boring for another. There is one way for my family to hs, but within that way, there are multiple choices.
I am one of those people that can't follow a strict schedule or guide. If I write our week out ahead of time, I know we are sure to deviate and follow rabbit trails at some point. I write it out anyway because it's important to have a guide, but we leave lots of room for life to happen. I was with a friend last night and I was letting her know that I could help with certain thing she needed help with. She asked me "what about your schooling?" It was easy for me to say with confidence that I have found the kids are happier, and therefore learn more, when we leave room for life. We school in a very natural way and blend learning into our day(most days) that we are always ahead. That tends to be common with homeschoolers.
CM is big on schedules so I have what works for us, I have what I call a general 4-part schedule. I divide the day into 4 periods of time between breakfast and dinner. Each part has a general time frame, but I am not strict about it. We also take one day off each week. Most weeks it's Wednesday, but if it needs to be another day we switch it. Also, we are only as relaxed as we are because first we created good habits. And as the kids go through growth spurts there are constantly new habits and character traits that need to be "taught" for lack of a better word.
Again, it fits very nicely into the CM method of learning. If we are on a roll and want to plow through several months of school in only one month, that fits. If we take time off to be a part of life, that fits too.
While I am well versed in the Charlotte Mason ways of schooling, I am no further along in finding that "one way" for our family to do things. One book is great for Thing 1, but Thing 2 doesn't get the appeal. We do spiral workbooks for Thing 2 and Thing 1 prefers the mastery approach to math. The cool thing is, it all fits. And that's the beauty of it all. I can use one way, a narrow way in today's world, and have room to move around within that way. Because I have an understanding of the philosophy I am free to move around within in.
So, here I am four years into the journey. My kids have no idea what a public school day is like. They have been with me from birth. And I haven't screwed them up. I also haven't found the one magic curriculum that works for us. One year it's Heart of Dakota and the next I am a Sonlight girl. We have also done KONOS successfully and plan on using My Father's World for 4th/2nd/K grades. We will do it as a family. Thing 1 has soared with one Language arts book and Thing 2 is having success with another. And my hope is that Thing 3 will require a completely different book than the first 2 all together (because I hate going through the same curriculum twice.)
I like that we know where we are going. And I like that I have the freedom to pick and choose what we do within the style of learning. Most of life is kind of like that.
Thanks for reading... I needed to write today and I wanted it to be light. If you are not a homeschooler than this was probably so boring to you that you did not even finish. Feel free to comment and let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas, especially if you are a CM family too.
Love,
Jakie

homeschooling in the Lord's strength

Some women are born natural moms. I have friends who are so at ease and natural with a house full of children, that I know they were born to be moms. I, on the other hand, was not born a mom. I knew that I always wanted to be one, but it seemed so out of reach. When I was younger I was bad, like really bad. I was a party girl, a druggie, and severely aware and conscious of my weight. I did not want to ruin my figure by getting pregnant. When I became a mom I thought something magical would happen that would make me a good mom. It was really shocking to me that I was still the same person, only now I had a kid.
As the months passed I began to fall deeply in love with my child. I loved him so much that I wanted his needs met above my own. I wanted to protect him from everything and shelter him from the cold, harsh, fallen world.
Then I had more kids. In that time the Lord began to change things in me. I have known a lot of women over the years that tell me they could never stay home with their kids all day. I actually know what they mean. I am the same type of girl. But because the Lord required something of me, He gave me Himself to be the change that needed to happen. Don't get me wrong, I didn't change. I am still not a "stay-at-home-mom" type, but Christ in me really loves it wants it. If I was not meant to stay at home with them, there would be no way in heck I could do it. Beyond that, the Lord has us homeschooling. I don't care if others send their kids to school or have them do school at home. I don't believe that one way is wrong and the other is right. A year ago I wouldn't have been able to say that, but I truly believe it today. Homeschooling is not the right choice for christian families, but it is the right choice for this christian family.
When I knew that we were meant to homeschool, it was the same deal as when I became a mom. The Lord had to do it through me and be some things in me that I naturally wasn't. I was scared, but the Lord in me was excited and grateful. I remember the day all Thing 1's pre-school supplies showed up at my door. I refer to it each year as "box day" and it's like christmas to a homeschooler. As I pulled out all my workbooks and teacher manuals and charts to hang on the wall, I knew that the Lord would be so proud of how obedient I was being. My kids were going to be so smart and I was going to have them winning all kinds of academic awards and spelling bees and one day the presidential election.
Little did I know at the time that our homeschooling had very little to do with academics. I am going to give a little warning here... I am about to talk about why we homeschool. I have learned that not everyone likes to hear about why people do things differently. I am by no means putting down another's choice. If you put your kids in school and feel bad or insecure about it, or if you feel good and just don't like to hear a difference of opinion, proceed carefully and consider yourself warned. What I am going to write is my very strongly inspired, passionate reason for homeschooling...
Yes, academics are very important. As our taxes increase, literacy level drop, and academic standards are being dumbed down to cover up school ineptitude. Being smart just "ain't" what it used to be. In equipping my little Things for their futures, I want to give them the highest quality education possible. But, this is NOT the main reason we homeschool. Not even close.
The Lord has given Chris and I a strong conviction that He designed our family for the purpose of nurturing an training our children,a model that cannot be replaced by an inferior alternative. Like a classroom. I don't want my little Things to develop unhealthy appetites for peer relationships above parent and sibling relationships. Another reason we hs is that my little ones learn better away from the desk. The school's formula has them confined for hours and so much of it is wasted time, waiting for others to finish. My little students have so many interests and passions that are beginning to sprout. I want them to have time to nurture God given talents. If they went to school all day and then did their origami classes or zumba classes in the evening, then when would we get our family time? Thing 2 goes to speech therapy at the public school 2 days a week. A half an hour each day. What a fricken' inconvenience these therapy classes have been! About a third of them get cancelled, but I don't find out until we've been waiting there for 15 minutes. Even when they do happen on the regular schedule, our morning and our schooling is disrupted by the school's schedule. I can only imagine how much our family would be disrupted if it was an everyday ordeal.
Something that has stood out to me in the last couple of years is how successful the schools have been at removing Christ and maintaining a politically correct stance towards other world religion and cults. My Things love to begin the day with song and prayer. Even when I foolishly want to hurry through those things to get to the academics, they know what's most important in our day.
The most important reason we homeschol is this... Saints are no loger under the law. Saints have freedom in Christ. A Saint's freedom should never be used as a license to sin and/or cause another to stumble. Notice how Brother Paul speaks of the "weak." I became humbly, but powerfully convicted in that my children are the Saints that fall into the category of "weak." They are still growing in their faith, knowledge, and revelation of Him. Unless schools are a completely different entity than they were when I attended them, why would I ever send them to a place that clearly would cause serious harm to their bodies, minds, and souls?
I claim to have no knowledge of God's desire for any one's family but my own. I know some good kids that come out of public school. I don't hate the school system. I wanted to put my kids in school and I am a mom that is okay with that. Unfortunately/Fortunately, the Lord changed me. He changed the plan for these young years of our family. Christ wanted something out of me that I was not capable of doing, so He became the change in me to do it.
That's why we do it.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

it bugs the hell out of me when people are bully makers

Today I am going to write about a pet peeve, something that really bothers me. Growing up,my mom was always aware of her children's behavior in public as well as at home. She made sure that she didn't have a house full of wild animals. She was as strict as she was loving. When I got older and began "misbehaving" it wasn't due to a lack of punishment or parenting. If anything, the police would shield me from my Mom when she would have to come pick me up at the station. They would calm her down before she got to me. My Mom worked in our town's court system so I am sure it was humiliating for her when I would get arrested.
As a mom, especially a mom of three boys, I am BIG on punishment and teaching correct behavior. It is a process. Kids aren't born knowing how to share or having etiquette. It take a full 18 years to teach those things!
I have noticed that there are 2 types of moms. I see them in the grocery store, at the gym, and basically everywhere in my life. There are the moms that have a realistic view of their own children and reasonable expectations for other's kids. And then there are the moms that expect other people's kids to be well behaved on an adult level and think that their own kids are exceptionally well behaved(but the kids of those moms never are).
Kids are kids. Some are way worse than others, but for the most part, kids with hands on, all in parents all have kids that are kinda' good and kinda' bad.
The thing is, I get real irritated with kids whose moms praise the heck out of them for very simple things and then ignores when their precious gem takes down a whole display at a grocery store!
Because of how I was raised, I am a disciplinarian with my kids. Anyone that knows me knows that my boys get away with nothing in my home. If I don't punish them, it's because they've got permission to do whatever it is they're doing. I also know that when I am not around, they may behave a little worse.
Character training is something we have turned into a "schoolish" subject at home. I know that it's very institutional,but my kids 'get it' when we do it as a subject.
There have been so many times when I have felt judged. My kids misbehave. I am very aware. It is humiliating when it happens in front of other moms or even strangers. I am writing this blog to the moms that are like me... the ones who have normal,sometimes misbehaving, still learning children. This blog is not for the moms of kids who always listen.
I am writing this to affirm you and offer some words of wisdom. I am also writing this because I am a little irritated and it's my opinion blog. When I was in the institutional church as well as in life, the moms that thought their kids were the best behaved were often the moms of the bullies and they didn't even know it.
You can usually tell the difference between the 2 moms in this very simple way... by the reaction she has after you tell her that her child's done something wrong.
I have a toddler. He's 3. When he is with other kids and babies I make sure to have him always put others first. If he has a toy that another kids wants... give it to him. And the key is to teach him to give the toy up cheerfully. It's not enough to share. I don't go overboard praising him for sharing or picking up his mess... he's expected to do those things. I go overboard praising him when he's shown selflessness that is uncommon in kids. It shocks the heck out of me that parents put their little one first when in a group of kids. What is that teaching them? Yes, it's okay when they are little, but those kids end up the nasty ones in the schoolyard playground. My kids get cut in front of in line sometimes. We went to a fair type place a few months ago and they kept getting cut in front of. I let them. Either they choose to stick up for themselves or they choose to be okay with letting others go first. Even when it's unfair. I also saw that the moms who butted in and made sure their kids didn't get cut in front of, had the kids who were butting in line when mom wasn't looking.
I get that it's good to protect our kids. I shelter the heck out of mine. It's good. But I am not writing about sheltering, I am writing about raising bullies and me-first people.
Rant over.
Love,
Jackie

babytime

A Sister in Christ is having her baby today. The little guy is a few weeks early so we are holding on to the hope that he won't have to spend anytime in the NICU. He has very strong and faithful parents so I know the Lord is with them no matter what the day holds. She had surgery this morning and we should be hearing some news shortly... it's hard waiting.
Another Sister in the Lord has been sharing some of her birth stories in a blog. Oh how I enjoy reading birth stories! As I read it brings me back to that very special season in my life when I had my babies. All three births were very different from each other. There are so many moms in my life that have shared birth stories with me lately. Maybe it's because of all the Sister in my life having babies. Some are even having them at home. It has inspired me to write about birth. I thought about maybe writing out each of my birth stories and taking that trip down memory lane...
I have three little Things at home. Thing 1 was a traumatic and painful birth/recovery. I was induced because of pre-eclampsia. I had high blood pressure, protein in the urine, and my feet were too swollen to walk. The OB had told me I was walking the "fine line" with what he was comfortable with. So I was induced with pitocin, which I nicknamed Satan Serum. The contractions were hard, forced, and much more painful than normal contractions. I had to wait around for an epidural for hours and remember biting pillows and screaming the F-bomb often(which was very uncommon for me.) I got the epidural and then had to push the kid out. I couldn't feel a darn thing and so I pushed so hard that I did permanent damage to my body. After Thing 1 came out and I was all stitched up, the nurses gathered in my room to look at my girl parts as if it was an alien. They had never seen such damaged girl parts after a normal birth. I couldn't walk normally for weeks and was in a lot of pain for about 8 weeks. After that I was so confused when I saw woman on tv or something that had a baby and was able to walk. I thought all births were as awful as mine. I know now that my bladder prolapsed during that birth. I guess it's no surprise that I was depressed and didn't feel like a mom after that. I hurried back to work as quick as possible and cared more about my social life than being a mom. I was angry.
Then I unexpectedly got pregnant with Thing 2. The pregnancy was rough. My sinus problems were ridiculous and I had a cold for 8 months. The birth was flawless and painless and I don't remember much emotion being tied to it. I got the pain meds as soon as I felt pain and I got the epidural shortly after. I didn't have to even push, the slippery little Thing came right out.
Thing 3 was by far the best birth. I was on bed rest for the last trimester because when I got up to do things I either would bleed or go into early labor. I was scared. I had marginal placenta previa. It's something that women today still die of during childbirth. There is no way to stop it. Fortunately my placenta moved enough that I was able to have a natural childbirth. I had considered having him at home, but knew that there was a chance we would need emergency medical attention. I wasn't about to risk my life for the experience of a home birth. I also knew that with placenta previa, I could bleed out and die within 20 minutes if the birth went badly. My home was about that far from the hospital.
My doctor was a rock star! I had no drugs and used pure human/animal instinct to get through the pain. Low breathes, deep, relaxing breathing, and eye contact with my hubby. That's what got me through the pain. I relaxed my way through the birth and it was amazing. After Thing 3 was born I felt joy and not an ounce of depression or pain. I don't know if it was coincidence or because it was drug free, who knows, who cares?
So there they are, my birth stories. I could go more in depth with the third one. I got so into natural childbirth during that time. Being on bed rest I got lots of time to read, join online doula groups, and practice things like the Bradley method of childbirth. Sometimes I feel like when I go on about natural birth, those who didn't do it feel as though I am judging them, which I'm not. But still, I usually only talk to women who want to about the natural, intervention free childbirth process when they bring it up first.
Hopefully you've made it to the end. And also, if you read my blogs I am sure you notice a lot of grammatical errors... some of my computer keys don't work as well as the others so I have to go back and press really really hard to get certain letters to type. Also, my spellcheck isn't very smart and seems to miss some words. :(
So, I am not an idiot... just have an old keyboard and a lazy spellcheck.
Thanks for reading anyway!
Love,
Jackie

over sheltered child of God

This blog entry is kind of a 2 in 1. 1)I am "pro" sheltering the heck out of kids, and 2)finding the Lord in being at home.
Am I sheltering my children? Do you shelter your children?
In several places I think "shelter" has become a bad, bad word. What does the word shelter mean? Protect. Defend. Guard. Preserve. Watch over. Shield. Safeguard.
So far, so good. Until pop psychology comes in and tells us that we should allow our children to taste a little of the world in order to understand it or pray for it. One of the worst arguments I have ever heard(but not from anyone I know personally) for sending a kid to school is so that they can get used to the harsh "real" world. Seriously.
For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. ~Psalm 61:3

For a year now I have been looking for acceptance and love in Christ. I have looked for it in others, in books, or in beholding Him. And then as I listened to my littlest thing, Thing 3, tell me he loved me this morning I knew it was from God. For a year I was so concerned with not placing my children before Christ, that I ended up placing a few things before my children.
I am going to keep sheltering them. I am going to walk in obedience to the Lord.
I prayed to the Lord for child a long time ago. I was a party girl and I was drunk. I had just come home from a fun night out with friends. As I was getting ready for bed in the early morning, I told God I was ready for a change. I was ready to have a family and be a mom. Of course I went to bed and the next night went out for drinks after work again! But less than a month later I became pregnant in a very unexpected circumstance.
I was not a mom type person, and I still might not be, but I love my kids much more than my own life.
Right now they come first. The Lord lives within me and to say that He comes first would be ridiculous because then I would also need to say things like "my lungs come first, and my brain comes first" since I also need those things to live. So, my kids come first. And it occurred to me last night as I talked with a friend that maybe this is why the Lord has me in such a lonely place... so I can spend the time on my husband, children, and home.
My Lord dwells in them and I have been searching for Him and not finding Him because I was not satisfied with pouring myself into my family at home. And by Him taking away most body life I have been overlooking the obvious... He wants me looking for Him right where I'm at. The Lord is sheltering me at home right now as I shelter my kids at home.
I like being given the time and the guidance to over-shelter my 3,5, and 7 year old. I like homeschooling and being able to spend all the time we need on what they need help with most. I like making education enjoyable for them. I know that they would hate school! They are too social to be able to sit in a desk surrounded by kids all day and not play or hang out with them. I like that I get to choose their friends. I like that I am able to provide each child the individual diet that helps their bodies work best. I like that we follow a Charlotte Mason philosophy in our daily life and in all we do.
I thank the Lord for sheltering me. Thank you Lord for over-defending me, for over-guarding me, and for keeping me safe at your side.
Thanks for reading,
Love,
Jackie

Miss Mason and the Motessori method

Charlotte Mason was orphaned at 16. She never married and never had any kids, but spent her life working with children. CM devoted everything she had to children. I hate the word "method" because it is so opposite of organic, but CM developed a philosophy that is called the Charlotte Mason method of learning. It is what's used in the Montessori schools today. And it is brilliant.
Miss Mason shared the belief that "children are persons who should be treated as individuals as they are introduced to the variety and richness of the world in which they live." It seems simple and and obvious.
Try an experiment: Take a small child on your knee. Respect him. Do not see him as something to mold, prune, or form. This is an individual who thinks, acts, and feels.
We are told by many in our generation that this small child is a possession.
What sort of person is it whom we are holding? Maybe vigorous and healthy, or malnourished and dejected? His mind may be alert or dull and neglected. Is he bored by sawdustlike religious slogans or has he been warmed at the flame of the Shepherd who has cared for him? We can only love him. We cannot own him, he is not ours.
One of the main selling points for homeschooling, in our family, is the views of children by the faculty of an institutional school. Children are not dependant on us(adults) to brainwash them into thinking any arbitrary act that we deem useful.
We think this is extremely healthy and have implemented it in our home. It works wonderfully at the Montessori schools. The children at those schools are well behaved, well versed, and exposed to quality books, games, and school work.
One of the main points that Charlotte Mason makes is to let good behaviour and good work be its own reward. Also, never to use writing, reading, or learning as a punishment or something to "get through" to go do the fun stuff.
I didn't know this in the beginning. We used stickers. When Thing 1,2, or 3 was good or did good work they got a sticker. Whoever got the most stickers got a prize out of the Good Job Bucket. We had 2 problems with this... not all my kids are on the same level behaviourally. They are different ages. Also, they have different special needs. Thing 2 has to work much, much harder to not have a temper tantrum than the other kids. So do I give him 2 stickers for not freaking out at lunchtime? It got too hard to decide. The other problem was that I did not like giving a "prize" for a kid to play with in front of the other two. It just felt wrong and it taught them that learning was a competition and that good behaviour is not worth doing unless a reward is offered. My kids even started to remind me to put a sticker on when they behaved. I knew that this was not how I wanted to parent. i did it because it was done to me at school. Now, knowing what I know, I don't have my boys participate in anything like that. They automatically get a reward from me, just for being my kids.
As an adult, living in organic church life, we would never do something like that to each other. But because kids are looked at differently, our culture uses that system. I talked to a woman recently that had this happen in her daughter's classroom. 8 kids were given special treats by the substitute because they did what the sub wanted. The woman(my friend) brought in treats for everyone to her daughter's class. The sub said "You are undermining what I am trying to do here!" and my friend replied, "Well, you are undermining what I am doing at home." My friend now homeschools her daughter.
There are a lot of things about institutions that disgust me. This system of having a flawed human decide which humans will be rewarded and which won't is one of them. The only institution that does not use this system is, like I said, the Montessori school.
I am in my opinionated blog so I feel safe in writing this. I know that there are a lot of people who will disagree with me and I appreciate that we are not all the same. I enjoy differences in my friends and family's point of views and love and value them just as much as ever. If you are reading this a don't agree, it's okay with me. I just really, really, wanted to get this out. Sometimes a blog will sit in my heart eating away at me until I finally sit down to type it. This is one of those.
I want to write just a little more about the philosophy that's developed in our house over the years... I am fascinated with curriculum, books, learning styles, and so on. I spend hours upon hours writing year long plans for our homeschool. What I am not good at is "teaching." My MIL is a teacher and has shared with me some of the things they do in her classroom. She has taught for 50 year and has a Master's degree in the profession. For all that, she is well read in twaddle(twaddle is the stuff the schools are giving to kids these days) and she knows how to organize and teach a classroom. When it comes to homeschooling and what we do, her degree doesn't matter. If anything, I have found that her degree works against her. Homeschooling isn't about teaching kids. In our house homeschooling is following them on their learning journey and showing them where to find what they need. When I try to teach them something that is of no interest to them, they forget it. We are very relaxed in our school and because of this I no longer have to fight with the kids to do school. They do far more than I ever could have "made" them. It's because we began treating them like equal members of the family. It's very similar to the belief that christians can't know what to do without a pastor. So far, we are growing and experiencing Christ more than we did before when we had the 'leader.'
Hopefully this will give a little glimpse into how parenting/learning can work without the typical reward/punishment chart system. I am also very excited to write about Charlotte Mason. I whole heartedly agree with her life's work and will take every opportunity to write about her and pass on the info that's been so useful to me.
If you read this and don't agree, leave a comment. I love to hear opinions and to know what other moms and dads do that work for them.
In either case, thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

biomedical intervention works

The last month has been somewhat of a biomedical experimentation period for our family. As most of you who read my blog know, two of my children have "struggles" beyond the norm. Thing One has adhd(which actually mirrors a lot of the same traits as autism) and Thing Two is on the autism spectrum.
I have been reading some interesting publications lately that suggest that these problems, disorders, or whatever are mainly in the gut. I know, it sounds crazy, but it makes sense when broken down. The more I read, the more it made sense. You see, Thing Two had severe gut reactions after the DtAP as a baby. Both times he received this vaccination, he didn't poop for a week. Which is very dangerous for a breastfeeding newborn. Unfortunately, the pediatrician and ER doctor did not believe that this baby hadn't pooped for a week. In that long, excruciating seven days, my boy was being poisoned through the gut. This particular little Thing could not handle the overload of chemicals and live viruses that vaccines deliver and so coincidentally now he is on the autism spectrum.
Thing One has adhd. It is NOT normal hyper little boy behaviour. He has an inability to connect to others on an emotional level. He has painful stomach aches all the time along with leaky gut syndrome(a symptom of both adhd and autism). This is in addition to the hyper mania he experiences when his diet is off. He is a little love ball inside, but this label of adhd has him trapped within its symptoms.
Now that I have explained what my boys dealt with before I want to write about the changes diet and supplements have made in our lives. It is all a part of biomedical intervention.
For some reason children who live with adhd and autism due to toxin overload have a sensitivity to sugar, wheat(gluten), and casein(protein that's in dairy). Step one is to remove these from their diet. No exceptions whatsoever. The hardest part of this is trying to make grandma understand that she is not treating her grandbaby by giving him a cupcake. This diet is also hell on the family grocery budget.
Also, most children who live with autism and adhd have a yeast problem in their guts. This may be due to all the antibiotics these kids have taken. With such weak systems, they get sick often and "need" antibiotics. Well, the meds messed them up and left them with a yeast problem. Probiotics and a product called ThreeLac help with this, but it takes months. At first when the yeast begins coming out in clumps, the child is like the devil. Crazy little devils. But when the yeast is cleaned out of their guts, they get better.
We are considering visiting a DAN doctor to have chelation therapy done. This is a natural therapy using oxygen to remove mercury and other poison from the body on a cellular level. DAN stands for Defeat Autism Now. These treatments will require travel time, money spent on plane tickets, hotel rooms, and the therapy itself. It's something we will need to plan for.
Regular pediatricians don't do these things. They have said that changing the diet is "dangerous." They said that adding supplements like omega-3 and probiotics are "dangerous." They obviously don't have kids with autism.
So far we have changed the diets of both boys and we've added the supplements that help replenish the gut with what it needs. So far we are seeing tremendous results! We still have a way to go, but Chris and I see progress!!
The worst part of autism(for our family) is the constant tantrums. The worst part of the adhd is the constant breaking of our things and constantly getting accidentally hurt by Thing One. I can tell you that Thing One himself finds the leaky gut to be the worst part. Fortunately, diet is changing all of these. Leaky gut is gone and the other ailments are happening less and less.
My kids may one day soon be able to snuggle up on the couch with me. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on this simple pleasure until Thing Three was born and I got to cuddle him. I can't wait for the day I get to snuggle up with all three boys on the couch and read a book.
Thank you for reading this blog. I enjoy journaling my life and sharing my passions with anyone willing to read. Sometimes the writing ends here and sometimes I expand on it elsewhere. I honestly didn't think anyone was reading this until recently. So many of my friends and family have commented on what I write when I see them. I try to remain as politically correct as possible while still maintaining my dignity and point of view. Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
Love,
Jackie

where I belong

This morning I felt uneasy about something. I woke up feeling that way. It's got nothing to do with being a crunchy mama so maybe I should write it in the other blog, but I ended up here, so...
Chris and I are different. Even in a group full of different people, we are different. I have never found a place quite so as accepting and forgiving as where we are now, but we still don't quite fit the same way the others do.
We have 2 months left on our lease and I have been leaning towards moving back to where hubby's job is. He drives 3 to 4 hours each day to get to and from work. He also has to be up very ealry in the morning and in turn go to bed very early at night to get there in time.
There is a sadness, a lonliness here that I have never known before. During the day it truly feels as though I am cut off from the world in my own little cave. I know Christ differently than I used to, but everyone knows that it doesn't mean I don't know lonliness.
I just joined a homeschool group that I am pretty excited about. These women were overjoyed to have me join. So maybe I'll stay for another year.
Sometimes I am amazed at how alike Chris and I are with our social anxieties. Why couldn't at least one of us be extroverted? Two introverted people hanging out at home all the time with our kids.
I am happy with the kids. They are good kids. Now that Hunter is on the autism diet and schedule of supplements he is making leaps and bounds in his healing. I could not be more impressed with how much love was being held prisoner in his little heart. He really is a sweet little boy outside of the label of autism.
I am very happy with our homeschooling. It is a full time job right now. We have found what works best for us and I am seeing results that are beyond anything I have done in my own power. Now that we have this homeschool group we will be able to do fun things like science fairs, do field trips with other families, and play homeschool sports.
Maybe that is where I'll find my niche? Although I am first a christian, Christ lives within me, I am a homeschooling mom. A very passionate, active one. I love to write about it, I love to do it, and I love to help others with it.
I think that the problem with my uneasiness might have been that I was trying to sit around all day expressing Christ when really I am supposed to be pouring myself into the world of homeschooling by day.
I think the homeschool group is the one place on earth, in all of history, that I will fit flawlessly into. My identity is in Christ and my fulfillment is in Him, but my time, passion, and gifts will be utilized in the homeschool community.
I think this is what I'll call "The End of My Identity Crisis."
All this time I have been trying to insert myself in a place where I wasn't supposed to put ALL my effort and time.
I love the Lord. I love how He changes all the time and that He truly is elusive. I have been so restless trying to pull Him out of thin air. All this time all I needed to do was look for Him where my passion is.
I have so much of Christ to share in this homeschooling group. So much of Him within me that I want to express outside of this house.
Having this group is going to be the missing piece to our lives here. When we lived in Jacksonville I know I couldn't have made it without my homeschooling mom friends. Hopefully getting out with these other moms will ease the lonliness.
I will be sure to blog about the journey as I go.
Thanks for reading me.
Love,
Jackie

supermom isn't real

Parenting is often a thankless job. It feels like I am failing sometimes. When the kids do great and I couldn't be prouder, it feels like I am doing an amazing job.
I have been asking myself the question lately, how much of parenting is "up to me" to do and how much of it is the Lord's hand? This reveals just how much I did not understand about the Lord and parenting.
I live as though it were completely up to me. I put so much pressure on myself that at times when I'm failing it's unbearable. I am learning to live by Christ's life. It's a process I am in. But when it comes to parenting how does that play out?
I used to think that I was an individual(in the Lord) with individual kids(that are individually in the Lord). I started to read a book I got at the library recently. It was a book written by a homeschool mom and the journey her family has taken. I got bored so 2 chapters in I stopped reading. It was full of bible verses that were taken out of context. It didn't sit well with me at all, but I couldn't figure out why until this morning. I don't believe the same things I used to. The old mindset was that I do my best, and then the Lord fills in the wholes and gaps. I can see plainly now the difference of when I(Jackie in the flesh) am behaving and parenting from the times when Christ is being magnified within. I am raising my children in Christ... I am in Christ and they are in Christ(hopefully) and we are all in "here" together.
Because I am in Christ I have trust and faith that no matter how many mistakes I make as a parent the Christ within us is bigger.
The importance of motherhood... why is it so important? It isn't, apart from Christ. Being a mom is important because I am the vessel with which Christ will use to raise my kids. I am the direct line of Christ's practical love from the Lord, to my little ones. In a human being, I have never seen a love as big or as strong as the love a parent has for a child. All that love, how can it exsist if not from the One who is love? That love comes form within, it's not external. Direct proof that the Lord is within us.
I used to think that raising kids was a speed-bump in the road of all the important things the Lord had in store for me. It does not feel like an important job when I am knee deep in laundry, I haven't spent enough quality time enjoying my little one's presence, and I am taking yet another day off of school to run errands and go to appointments. Times like those make it easy to look at other families and compare where I am falling short. Whoever invented the myth of the "supermom" should be shot. No one is doing everything, all the time. Some weeks I have more body life and more things accomplished in the grown up world, but only 2 days of learning. And sometimes I don't see another grown-up all week, but I feel great about all the learning we've done. I don't know if we'll ever have a balanced week full of rich body life, where all my clothes are cleaned and ironed, all of our breakfasts are warm and NOT bowls of cereal, and we are on schedule according to my homeschool plan book. I used to pray for supernatural strength. I thought the Lord wanted that for me. The goal was to accomplish all these things, right? What was the point of me staying at home if the Lord wasn't going to perfect my homemaking skills?
My whole mindset was still concentrating on completing a list of chores in record time. And on that list of chores was quality time with my kids. Isn't that pathetic? The pressure had turned what is supposed to be an organic love filled relationship into a another thing on my list. Deja vu.
Children are a gift from the Lord. They are the straight arrows(hopefully) that we are sending into the future. My relationship with my kids, my love for them, and the task of growing them up in the Lord are all shadows of my relationship with Christ. It doesn't need to be perfect because He is perfect. I don't have to "do the best I can and He'll fill in the rest" because that would imply doing anything in my own strength. Simply resting in the Lord and allowing His love and life to flow through will accomplish more than giving myslef a list of demands.
When the Lord appeared on earth, things happened. Things we can't explain. That's what happens when I die to myself and allow Christ to live my life. I was so scared that nothing would get done if I rested in Him. I didn't trust Him. I honestly didn't think He even cared about my homemaking because my 'real' work was to come when the kids are grown and gone.
Today I don't care about anything except resting in Christ. I trust that when I die inside to my desires, my instincts, my plan, and my adgenda, that what the Lord wants to get done will get done. And it will get done better.
What that looks like on a practical level kind of scares me because I freak out when my home is messy, but sometimes it needs to be messy. I get twitchy when the laundry piles up, but I no longer cancel time with Saints so I can stay home and do laundry.
That's all for now, thanks for reading.
Love,
Jackie

go outside and play!

There's something missing in the world of today's child...
When I was a kid my brothers and I would run out the front door and play for hours with little or no toys and then head back in when it got dark out. I remember playing in the dirt, building forts in the woods, and riding a wagon down a steep driveway over and over again. Those were good times, different times.
With what we know about safety today we can't just open the door and let our children out. I could get in trouble or worse, my kid could get abducted. It's good that we as a society have decided that we are going to be more active in watching our kids while outside, even though it may only be for an hour here and a half an hour there. The thing is this... now our kids don't really know how to play outside and enjoy, explore, and appreciate nature. Kids today are very quick to kill a bug, spider, or reptile that they catch scurrying past instead of observing it, watching it, and maybe even trying to make it their pet, they kill it.
I have been watchful over the last 3 years of how children interact with nature. My own kids and friends and neighbor's kids too. Because the times have changed and little ones can't run around outside all day anymore, they have lost their natural instinct to enjoy nature the way generations of kids in the past used to.
Last week we had to punish Thing 1. While we(mom and dad) met with the church, we dropped him off with the kids. We have a very strict no video game rule in our family. Thing 1 played video games while with his friends. At first we were going to just let it slide, but in the end decided that he needed to know we are serious about this rule. In trying to decide his punishment Chris and I had a great conversation about why it's so important to us. This is the picture that came to mind:
I love candy. I need it every single day. Not kidding, I am hopelessly hooked on candy. I like all kinds and enjoy and savor every bite. I know that fruit is better for me. I know that the Lord gave me my sweet tooth so that I would desire to eat the fruits that are needed to stay healthy. Unfortunately, I began eating a lot of candy at a young age and so my taste for fruit never really developed. Had I not gotten hooked on candy, fruit would probably satisfy my sweet tooth.
I have the same view on video games vs. playing outside in nature. I don't hate the games. I just know that in today's world it's already so hard for kids to go outside and enjoy and appreciate butterflies and squirrels-without throwing in the instant gratification video games bring. Nature studies and keeping a field guide/nature journal is not an appealing way to spend a day when a hand held entertainment contraption beckons, but in the end, a day in nature is so much more gratifying.
Going outside and playing came naturally for my kids. From the beginning I would go sit in the yard on a big blanket and read or just watch them. We didn't bring toys out and they could only play with the bikes and toys that we kept in the garage(scooters, baseball bats, all kinds of balls). A long time ago I watched a little boy who was a friend's son. He begged to go outside after lunch. He was really bored inside and just kept talking about going out. So after lunch I grabbed my blanket and water bottles and we headed out. In less than five minutes the little one was asking to go back in. He was bored. I tried to encourage him to grab a bike a go for a ride or run around and kick the ball, or play with the other kids. He didn't want to. The next day his mommy dropped him off with a hand held video game thing to play with while the other kids played outside. This was not the first time I saw this. I began to notice it happening everywhere I worked with or spent time with children. Some were used to plating outside and just needed the fresh air and imagination! And some were completely lost, bored out of their minds, and not even sure what to do.
We used to have a great big yard, but now we practically have none. There is a beautiful nature park with trails and a stream within walking distance so we spend a lot of time there. I actually bought a book about 2 years ago called "Enjoying Nature With Children." It has so many simple suggested activities to get their little minds going while outside. More than that, it is teaching them to respect nature. If I ever decide to watch children again(as a job), I will definately use the tips in this book to encourage freedom and joy while playing outside!
It pains me to see children destroying beautiful spider webs spanning between trees that must have taken hours and hours to build(get that darn spider in my house and it's a whole other story, pests in my home get sprayed by cans of poison shaving cream). I have seen little ones try to kick in every ant hole they can find. An animal's home being destroyed for no good reason symbolizes a generation of kids who don't care for or respect nature. Children who do these types of things don't feel a sense of joy, serenity, belonging to the natural world. This world was given to us as a gift. We are to care for it and "till" it, not dominate and destroy it.
I think it's important to be my kid's nature guide. It's important in giving them a classical education and in helping them to be happy and comfortable in their environment.
One thing that we do is make home made bird feeders out of empty containers or coconut shells when we have them. Spread some peanut butter and some seeds and tie it somewhere so it can't be carried off. We don't mind if squirrels eat from it too. Each day we note the weather, check our outdoor thermometer, and make note of any animals we see in our small yard. We also notice if the leaves are beginning to fall off, change color, grow back, etc. We note any butterflies that cross our path while out. We collect leaves and make leave rubbings before looking it up and labeling it. We notice the difference in the number of mosquito bites before and after the lawn gets mowed. All of this goes into a notebook in words, pictures, and graphs. They record this information however they see fit. As a parent I am thrilled to have beautiful, rich notebook pages at the end of the year and the kids are proud of their books.
I am sad that my kids can't play and explore the way I used to as a kid. What I can do is defend their childhood play outside, in the natural world. I will encourage them to look, really look at the plants, animals, trees, and even the soil in order that they may see and appreciate their world.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

my opinion on...

Okay, so because you are reading this in my "Crunchy Mama" blog, you know I am about to get real opinionated. I have another blog and that one is more for my revelations in daily life. This one is to type about the vast sea of knowledge and inspiration that comes with living the crunchy life.
I noticed something yesterday. My kids do not depend on me to give them knowledge. A good student waits for a teacher to tell them what to do. I was a good student. My teachers always loved me when I was growing up. If it were not for the escalating drug addiction, I might have even have been a super star student. But my kids, they are not good students. They are not good at anything that lends itself to being "schoolish."
One memory sums up learning in school up for me. When I was in eighth grade I had my first year of history. We moved to a new town and I had never had history in my old school. It was taught by a very likable, yet very dry teacher. When he announced that a quiz would be coming up I would begin studying right away. I studied my notes from class and the textbook. I never got good quiz grades in that class. I tried so hard to. I never knew what the teacher wanted. And that was the game... not to study what was important to me, but to try to determine what the teacher found important and study that.
My kids have tried a few times to please me in this way. They tried to be intellectually dependent on me. I, the teacher(and of course being the expert) have been taught that good people wait for experts to tell them what to do.
So you can believe my shock when I realized that homeschooling was producing different results. It was strange and interesting to see a child seeking out information without being given the topic or subject. It seemed silly to me to stop him from researching a certain species of penguin so that we could "do" school.
I have read and believe that each homeschooling family thrives under different types of models. I am sure, however, that all kids are born with an instinctual desire to learn(not in the way the schools teach, though). It is awesome to watch a toddler try to discover how to walk without being taught. My kids all learned to talk without being taught. I know some parents do teach their kids how to say words, but even if they didn't, their child would learn to talk. Kids have a natural instinct and it is to learn and discover.
I know a few little boys who went to kindergarten excited. By the end of the year they hated school. The system we have set up for kids does not work. I have actually heard the argument that "if we don't send our kid(s) to school, how will they be prepared for the harsh, cold world?" So now our reasons for sending kids to school is so that they get used to being bullied and maybe even learning how to bully early on? What about to learn?
John Holt said this as he accepted the award for New York City Teacher of the Year(he won that 2 years in a row):
"I've noticed a fascinating phenomenon in my thirty years of teaching: schools and schooling are increasingly irrelevant to the great enterprises of the planet. No one believes anymore that scientists are trained in science classes or politicians in civics class or poets in English classes. The truth is that schools don't really teach anything except how to obey orders."
Do I discard everything I learned while in school? No, but the truth is that I would have learned those things anyway. I remember that when I am with my own. I want to expose them to everything and then let them decide what to excel in.
Do I let me kids have the run of the house all day long? Nope. Here's what we do and they love it and thrive on it...
I am a firm believer in the Charlotte Mason approach to learning. We never spend more than 15-20 minutes on any given topic. The point where he begins twirling his pencils is when we move on. I fill his workbox(a workbox is a fun way to bless my kiddies and let them be independant, I will explain the workbox system in my next blog) each night with what he needs for an education and he gets to work the next day. I fill it with the great books, great art, and great poetry of the past. He has a strong desire to learn to read and write properly so we are working on those things during the elementary years. He loves math and we found a very "schoolish" math works best for him so we use that. This particular Thing(Thing 1) is very interested in geography and science so several times a week we do projects and experiments and he keeps his findings in his notebook.
I pick out the books that I read to him and he picks out the books that he reads to me. I reserve the right to veto a book just like I reserve the right to veto candy for dinner. Because early on we began reading a type of book(ones without pictures), he enjoys those books now and prefers them. My little ones are growing up the same way.
Thing 1 knows what he has to do to reach his goals. I lay them out for him in a weekly schedule. It is up to him to finish the work in the way it works best for him. He has access to dictionaries, educational movies and documentaries, and we visit the library once a week.
Thing 2 is learning pretty much on his own. He has his own shelf full of books and workbooks. Ones that were a big hit with our family the first time around. He works through his stuff quicker than I could ever assign anything.
Chris and I set up the atmosphere and the kids take advantage. There's no coercion, no bribing(learning is it's own reward) and no punishment involved in learning.
That's it for now... thank you for reading.
Have a wonderful day!
Love,
Jackie

home grown kids

It's been a year since we made the switch to organic life. It was this time a year ago that a good friend schooled me on how unhealthy our diet was. She revealed that a lot of the common ailments that we complained of could be healed by changing our diets. I had been somewhat aware of different types of diets. I was a raw foodie seven years ago, I was a vegetarian for years, at one point I even tried that crazy diet where you don't eat pasta and bread. But, I never did these for health. I always tried them for weight loss and beauty. The vegetarian diet was more because my body began to be repulsed at the thought of meat. I could no longer stomach it. I am kind of going through a phase like that right now... I eat very little meat.
After a weekend with this friend who had given me all I needed to jump start a new healthier life, I began to read, and read, and read. I read everything I could get my hands on about different foods, oils, practices in preparing foods, and toxins in food. I have spent a small fortune on books in the last year in an effort to become educated.
Recently we had a chance to eat at a restaurant. We usually eat at Chipotle or Moe's if we eat out because it's healthier, depending on what you order, than most places. The time I am talking about was different. This time we ate at a sit down, order-from-a-server kind of place. I thought that because I hadn't had food like this in so long that it would blow my mind! I was excited to taste real food again. I have to say that I was sorely disappointed. I could not even eat half of the food because it tasted so horrible to me. It didn't even taste like food.
Once I got over the initial shock of how nasty this stuff was I became grateful for what we are doing. We are setting up our children, and in turn our grandchildren, to live in a healthy way. We are creating a new normal for them. A world of eating organic food, loving Christ without the religious rituals, and learning(schooling) in a free environment where their constitutional rights aren't taken away.
Chris and I made the decisions for our family based on what works best, what were comfortable doing, and what means most to us. It just so happens that by doing this we are giving our kids a foundation in these things too.
We are raising organic home grown kids. I like the sound of that!
"We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons." ~Alfred E. Neuman
Another important change we made is one that I would like to share with you. I have not wrote an informative blog in a long time and it's been on my mind to so here it goes...
Soap, shampoo, lotion, sunscreen, and anything else that goes on your skin really should be free of toxins. Just because these products say organic does not mean that they are chemical free. Look at the ingredient list. Throw out or avoid buying anything that lists PEG, polyethylene, polyethylene glycol, polyoxyethylene, or oxynol. Also any ingredients that end in the letters "eth", like "mereth". Thank you Lord for spellcheck! These ingredients have the chemical 1,4-dioxane. This is a harmful chemical that is carcinogenic.
Another place to look is in your toothpaste. Most chemicals in those tubes are dangerous when ingested in large amounts, but what about in small amounts, absorbed in the mouth over a period of decades? Go for fluoride free, saccharine free, and lauryl sulfate free toothpaste. Especially for kids who may swallow some of it.
A national survey conducted by Environmental Working Group in 2007, found that kids are exposed to an average of 27 personal care product ingredients that have NOT been found safe for kids every day.
Recently the topic of plastic came up in a conversation I was a part of. A comment was made that our kids use plastic, non-BPA free bottles and they are fine. Our kids are still kids, still developing, and still getting doses of tiny toxins throughout the day, throughout the years. They may be "fine" now, but with one out of every 2 Americans getting cancer, most of them won't be "fine" when they are older.
For years I used popular brands of sunscreens. It was only recently that I learned about the unhealthy chemicals in them. Almost 1,000 brand name sunscreens that were investigated by the EWG were found to be unsafe and ineffective. More precisely, four out of every five contain chemicals that pose health hazards and don't protects people from UVA radiation. That's 4 out of 5!!! Sunscreen is more likely to cause cancer that the sun is. The scary thing is that sunscreens use nanotechnology... they use tiny particles... that go deep into the body. They may be able to cross the blood-brain barrier.
I am going to bring the Lord into this for a moment...
If you believe in God and think that He created us, then why would he create people to live on the earth, under the hot sun, with no sunscreen, if it was a giant cancer ball? There is a vitamin that counter acts sun burning. It is the very, very common vitamin c, also known as ascorbic acid. This vitamin was in every fruit that existed in the garden of Eden. I am confident that if we ate the diets we were intended to eat, we may not even need sunscreen.
But we don't so what can we do about it? Here is a natural recipe for sunscreen that will not give you cancer down the road... 1 tsp ascorbic acid and 4 ounces of distilled water. Spray on your body or your kid's bodies everyday. Your children will no longer need sunscreen. Sometimes if I know we will be in the sun all day I will spray twice that day.
Another cool thing we can do with ascorbic acid is to add a tablespoon to bath water and it will neutralize any chlorine in the bath tub. Ascorbic acid is a miracle vitamin!
I need to end this although I could go on and on... I'll write a continuation another day perhaps.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

socialization? at school?

This is a ranting post, so beware.
The number one question asked by those whose do not homeschool, but find out I do, is "But what about socialization?"
This question shows just how little most people know about socialization in an institutional setting. The unfortunate fact is that most kids learn to socialize in spite of institutional schooling (I will refer to "institutional school" as IS from here on out).
From what I know of the Lord, He is very natural. Organic if you will.
We are adaptable. Humans were not made to do anything in an institution, but we can because we are adaptable.
It seems like being in the world each day, running errands, going to the library, taking classes at different educational centers, and the time we spend with our church in community life is a much more normal way to learn socialization.
I remember being in high school, both "regular" and "alternative". The alternative high school was a lot like home school, only at the community college. We had a whole floor of the college for us,about 30 students and 4 teachers. We had no assignments other than those we gave ourselves. If we wanted to sit in the college lobby and talk with others all day, we were given the freedom to. I graduated from high school, alternative high school, with a 4.0 gpa, with exceptional work done in English. I also became very comfortable with talking to people of all ages.
Regular high school was fun, too much fun. But from what I remember there is nothing from that whole experience that I can remember worthy of imitating. Absolutely nothing that I want my child copying or learning from. The popular kids were snobs and got into a lot of trouble and the unpopular kids were terribly shy. Sometimes it looked like the unpopular ones were afraid of their own shadows. Decent human beings that were probably great people outside of IS, but they were behaving like timid little turtles while in IS.
IS is not meant to bring out the best in kids. It's meant to mass produce good test scores (not even knowledge), but good scores. IS's are not set up to or meant to "teach" socialization. In fact, most social kids get in trouble for being social in class.
At IS it's all the extra activities that promote teamwork and homeschool kids DO those extra activities! Most homeschooled kids I know do more social activities than the ones in IS.
Another major point I want to make is that I have very needy kids. Two have diagnosable problems that affect the mind and behaviour. Chris and I work VERY hard on teaching them self control and manners. It would be counterproductive to teach them anything about those two traits and then send them off to a place that encourages the opposite. People with kids who don't have ADHD and autism may not have to deal with this issue, but I do. Once a week I let my boys be with the other kids in our church for a few hours while Chris and I go to the meetings. In that short amount of time, Thing One(name for my kid) usually manages to do something that he knows he's not allowed to do. Not small things either, but very strict convictions that we enforce- no video games. He is punished severely for playing these, but he does it anyway. This happens in only in a few hours so I can't imagine what it would be like if he were in IS all day with one teacher to every 20 students. The Lord gave us clear guidelines on raising our kids. Right now, bringing them up in the ways of the Lord means homeschooling, for US, right now. This could change, who knows? If our kids needed to be in an institution, the Lord would have instructed Chris and I to delegate their teaching. Even Christians sometimes don't get this. I could let them know that it's the Lord's direction for our family and we'll still get the stupid "But what about socialization?" question.
Like I wrote in the beginning, this is a rant after hearing about an ex-husband taking the mother of his kids to court because he didn't want them to miss out on the socialization of school. He won. Judges are very, very anti homeschooling. Visit the HSLDA website to read story after story of judges making ignorant and wrong comments about hs'ing.
Institution does not = better. I believe it for church and I believe it for school. I think that Christians can have community life without the 5-fold ministry and bible studies and I think kids can learn to socialize without sitting next to god-knows-who all day being taught by god-knows-who.
End of rant.
Love,
Jackie

homeschooling doesn't need to mean school at home

This one has been a very inspired blog to write. This subject, "school at home" has been popping up everywhere and I going to share my thoughts on it. Feel free to comment or discuss...
When I first began homeschooling I went with what I knew. Chris and I ordered the best workbooks and textbooks from a top christian academy. I set my front room up to look like a kindergarten classroom. I implemented everything that I could remember happening in school. I liken it to when I stepped out of the institutional church. I tried to stick to my bible reading, praise and worship, and listening to sermons online on Sunday mornings.
I knew that the institution (both school and church) were not for my family, but I didn't know what was. So I did what I knew, at home.
The familiar model makes us feel more comfortable, secure in our decision, and perhaps a little more legitimate.
For some families this style works marvelously. Kids and parents thrive and home education is just what it's supposed to be - a nurturing, relevant, and creative education. For most, school at home is only a launching point, a place to start down a familiar road. Not many families I have met in the last 3 years do it this way. They move on to other styles that fit them better.
Since school at home imitates the public school system, it still carries the same issues and downsides that regular school does.
It all changed for me when I noticed Ben's joy for learning was withering away. He went from loving to do his workbooks and playing school, to seeing them as boring. He had just turned 5 and was beginning to see school as something to "get through" so he could get to the fun stuff in life. I began to ask myself some serious questions: Is he looking forward to what we do? Does he approach his work with reluctance or enthusiasm? Is learning exciting and natural or is it becoming a chore?
We were unhappy. All my dreams of having a nice little classroom at home were fading. In it's place my child was finding learning boring and that was simply not acceptable to me. What's the use of teaching my kids how to find and explore valuable information if they find it too boring to ever use it? I wanted them to not only be prepared for Harvard, Yale, or Brown. More importantly, I wanted them to be excited about the world that we live in. I wanted them to think for themselves AND to appreciate the classics... great books of the past, beautiful works of the symphony, a real understanding of the human race, where we come from, what makes the tree frog so colorful. I wanted to have my 6 year old search so in depth about a topic that at the library he goes right for the adult shelves(instead of the children's) because they have the "real" information in them. I didn't want him learning from dumbed down twaddle that this pricey, top notch curriculum was feeding him.
I was bored so I knew he had to be.
What this meant was that our family did not thrive under the institutional method. Some families do, but not very many. I realized that if my kids were in school they may be diagnosed with a host of learning disabilities to disguise the fact that they don't learn well in the institution of school. At home we can see that they just learn better using different models.
My boys are very hands on. They like to take one topic and bleed it dry. They don't like to do the typical "school" spiral method of learning a little more each year. They want to take a subject they like and sink deep into it. And they have the freedom to do so at home.
When we first began doing this I worried that they may not be up to par with what the kids are learning at school, but they are. They pass tests with flying colors. I don't need to give them tests because when I have conversations with them I know what they learned and what they didn't. But we do the monkey dance for the state at the end of the year and guess what, they do great!
The beginning of homeschooling is trial and error. Try a book, a curriculum, a field trip, a game and it works; the next one doesn't. That is normal and part of the learning process. School at home was our first step. I am now not so surprised that it was far from our last step. Just like when I cook an exciting new meal, take a vacation in a beautiful new place, or move to another city for a church that blows my mind, I have also realized that there are more fascinating and appropriate ways to homeschool than just bringing school home!
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

hope for autism

"All illnesses have some hereditary contribution. Genetics loads the gun and enviroment pulls the trigger." -Dr. Frances S. Collins(important suit in the medical community)
My son has something wrong with him. He is 5 years old, has very special needs, and is somewhere on the autism spectrum. So far it has been a very long road of finding out what was wrong and discovering ways to parent him. In the last couple of months he has gotten worse. He has meltdown after meltdown, his brothers don't want to be near him, and I often find myself confining him to his bedroom so I can do things like cook dinner. Something has got to give. I can't do this anymore. We are all trapped inside this label called autism and I am going to get my son out.
First, I would like to mention that I am fully aware of all the medical research out there. Probably more than most people. I spent months on bedrest with my last pregnancy and do you know what I did? I researched vaccines. Everyday. That having been said, I know my son was not born this way. I know when he changed. He changed after a vaccine, two of them actually. I believe the first allergic reaction was the one that did him in. The one just cemented his place on the spectrum. Like I wrote at the top of this page, I believe my son had a pre-exsisting sensitivity to the aluminum and formaldehide and the vaccines just set it off. After receiving the vax (both times) he stopped pooping for a week. A breastfed baby that doesn't poop for a week can get very, very ill. The toxins that build up in his colon poisoned his fragile body. My son is just one out of every 50 children that have a bad reaction to these vaccines.
All of the reports that claim vaccines are 100% safe and do not cause toxic allergic reactions, are backed up by companies that would lose a lot of money if we didn't give our kids their vaccines. There are doctors however, that will speak truthfully about the dangers of these poisons despite the risk of losing money and credibitlity. Most notably Jay N. Gordon, MD, FAAP, IBCLC, FABM who is Assistant Clinical Professor of pediatrics at UCLA Medical Center and Former Senior Fellow in Pediatric Nutrition at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Institute who said this: "Vaccines can cause autism". There are studies that say vaccines do not cause autism. They may be right. But, the vaccines did cause my son to get sick and not poop, releasing heavy amounts of toxins into his body over a period of a week. That caused his autism. Are we truly shocked that mercury, aluminum, and formaldehyde are making babies sick?
Off my soap box. I am writing today after a hopeful light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel decision we made. While at the end of my rope I was beginning to think about sending my son away to live with someone else. Can I tell you that I was truly defeated in this struggle? I prayed a very desperate prayer and waited on direction from God.
A response was plopped into my lap in the form of a book written by Jenny McCarthy. I knew that her son was on the spectrum and that she healed him somehow. What worked for her son may not work for mine, but I am going to try it. I have hope. It has been hard reading this book because I sob and sob. She knows exactly what I am going through. I only wish I would have read this sooner. It is so encouraging and supportive to me to know that she's gone through this too. If I ever get to meet her I will hug her and tell her how much sharing her heart means to me. I am NOT alone!
I need to go now, but I just wanted to share this ray of hope. I will most likely keep updating this blogs on the progress of our plan (we are going to detox him and change his diet).
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie

We began our official "school" year about a month ago. Thing one(yes, I am calling my child thing one) is in 2nd with some subjects, and 3rd grade in others. Thing two is on the autism spectrum and so he is soaring in math, but slower in reading. I consider him in the very beginning of kindergarten. I began homeschooling him on his 4th b-day and he is five and a half now. And the littlest thing, thing 3, is doing preschool workbooks and crafts.


This year our focus will be attentiveness and obedience. Because I have boys, I have a long-standing struggle with these character traits. I have noticed that other families with boys struggle with the same issues. I have been observing all the different parenting styles and reading lots and lots of parenting articles in my home school magazines trying to come up with a parenting style that's best for us.


The hubby and myself are both super-strict at home. We have family "guidelines" printed out and put around the home that we re-read a few times a year. On it are statements like ~ never raise a hand to hit or a voice to yell, respect others above yourself, show forgiveness before it's even asked for, etc. Our boys are great, but we are not so blind(anymore) to think that they may act differently around others than they do with me and Chris. Every kid does. It's like when we were in school and a substitute teacher would come. We new we could get away with murder!They are still children and we are only beginning to get into real issues raising them.


In my reading I have identified that there are two main qualities I want instilled in my children, 1) I want them to listen to mom and dad as well as all authority and 2) I want them to love each other and others. Both are equally important. We are given 18 years to do so. We are doing alright. Our kids are nowhere near raised and are not perfectly well behaved little boys, but no little boy is.


So, in our homeschooling we do our lessons based around the Lord and character traits. We are very eclectic, but our main style is unit study with an emphasis on fine literature. I am a big, big fan of Sonlight and Heart of Dakota curriculum, which both emphasize kindness and forgiveness. In two years we are going to switch to My Father's World so I can teach the kids from one teacher's manual. I got the curriculum earlier this year and have looked through it. It seems right in line with what Chris and I are trying to teach in addition to having a real focus on the needs of people around the world. The family that wrote it is a missionary family and they have a heart for bringing Christ to every nation. Man, I can't wait to get to that!


I love my boys. I have sacrificed everything for them. I am not really a "mom" type person, but with my kids I find it easy to be one. I hate that I finished two years of vocational school only to never get certified or work as a pharm tech, but in homeschooling I have found a new passion(which is homeschooling). In having community life with the church we moved to Gainesville for, I have been able to relax a little and see that it's normal for my boys to not be perfect. I find comfort and strength from other moms of boys. Sometimes Thing 2(on the spectrum, remember) has me so frustrated that I lock myself in a closet and just cry, but the Lord gave him to me for a reason. I trust that God won't leave me hanging or give me more than I can bare. I pray for another mom with a child on the spectrum to move here all the time, but even if that never happens I will be okay. I may be alone in that particular struggle, but I am not alone in parenting.


I hope you all enjoyed reading. It's been a while since I've blogged because I've been working on a project at night, but I felt the itch this morning. Off to teach my boys with a heart of gratitude and love.

Blessings,
Jackie