Last night I came home from a church meeting overwhelmed by the living Spirit of God within me. I began to write and write. Through writing I discovered that the Lord leads us to what is good for us. His will is never forceful and His judgement is held back from His children. We don't know exactly who his children are, but I He created all of us to be His. It used to be that those who said the "sinner's prayer" were saved. Saved from a fiery damnation to hell. Now I know better. We don't know what's in a person's heart. We can profess Christ all day long... the demons even knew who Christ was. But, we never know what's in another's heart just by what they say. We don't know who we'll see in heaven.
I have taken a hiatus from books(except the bible, I read that often, but not out of religious obligation... I read it when He draws me to it). The Lord has got me. He is the One that brings about change within. If I try to encourage a change within myself, it is very short lived. For that reason, reading christian books, even organic church books, is frustrating for me. I want to read these books and then encourage the change I read about to happen. I am unsatisfied with Christ in my life until I can be what the book wants me to be.
Chris and I enjoy a natural and organic way of living. We make all our own cleaning detergents, soaps, and sprays. We eat all organic fruits, vegetables, and meats. We homeschool and home church. Except for (organic)coffee, I have been rid of bad daily habits. For a year and a half we have seen the benefits of living this way and it has been a pitfall in my spirit. I have felt that I was better than those who did life differently. I thought that I was special because I was "let in" on the secret to a healthier lifestyle. I was boasting within.
When filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, I can see the wretchedness in myself. I can see that it was Christ who drew me gently and slowly into a lifestyle very different from the one I had created for myself. Christ revealed Himself and His design for my family. He was humble about it. He sent those didn't judge, but who were patient and accepting while sharing information.
In addition to friends, family, and His Spirit in me, I have found practical instruction in the bible. This is not the same as when I pulled verses out here and there and made them fit what I was doing. The Holy Spirit is directing my heart when I read these verses. Because I am secure in the Lord directing my time with Him, I know that He directs others do different conclusions.
For example... Eph. 6:4. The Lord has placed on my heart the responsibility of homeschooling my children to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Because when I read this I joyfully accept what He's placed on my heart. It's confirmed through in other ways. For three and a half years so far I have taken this to mean that all parents who want to raise their children in this way need to homeschool. I have read into it my own fears... mainly that if I sent my kids to school, the time in that environment would undo all the good Christ is doing in their hearts. And this is true for MY kids. Fortunately, this verse can simply be a parenting verse for many families. Christ puts in our hearts what we need to know to carry out His life within us.
A few years ago I thought that there was a recipe for becoming a christian. I had verses to back it up. But, as Christ came and dwelled in my heart, He became alive and nothing else I do can compare or even matter. I could never read the bible again, I could never go to a time of teaching again, I could never another devotion(it's typically an hour where christians read the bible and pray)... I could never do those things again an not only prosper in Christ, but be better for it. The indwelling life of Christ is no match for the outwardly things we do. In the past this is how I would know other christians. Add to the list of outwardly things: speaking "christian-ese"(the art of speaking the popular christian lingo). These things are how I would know christians.
Today I know it by the life of Christ. The Lord loves all people. Most people I know love Him back. And it's got nothing to do with a steeple or a newcomers class or a five fold ministry.
Thanks for reading me!
Love,
Jackie
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